Friendship Jokes Page 1

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Arthur's son Arthur Junior was saying his bed-time prayers and Arthur was listening in from behind the door, he finished by saying ''Bless Mom and Dad and Grandma, and Rest in Peace Grandpa.''
Arthur thought that was a strange thing to say since Grandpa was still alive and well. But the next day Grandpa died of a sudden massive heart attack. Arthur of course thought that was spooky but it was probably a coincidence.
But a few months later it happened again, Arthur's son finished his prayer with ''Bless Mom and Dad, and Rest in Peace Grandma''. The next day Arthur's mother-in-law died unexpectadly.
Old people die all the time figured Arthur, it's just a concidence.
But a few months later he overheard his sons prayer again, this time it ended with ''Bless Mom, and Rest in Peace Dad''.
This is bad thought Arthur. The next day he called in sick but didn't tell his wife Gertrude. He left the house very early before any other cars were out and drove very carefully to the nearest hospital. He sat down in the reception area and just sat there all day, he figured if he gets sick suddenly he'll have a better chance here at the hospital. He sat there until midnight and then he went home feeling very relieved.
- When he got home his wife looked very emotional. ''Where have you been all day I tried to call you at work, something horrible has happened. Your best friend Delbert got hit by a garbage truck and died.''.

Doctor Rueprecht had invented a machine that transferred the birth pains from the mother to the father and he was going to try it out on one of his patients. Arthur's wife Gertrude was about to give birth so he decided to try the machine on them. He set the machine to 1/2, transferring half of the pain to the father to make it fair. Arthur didn't seem to be in any pain at all so the doctor went ahead and set it to full, transferring all the pain to the father. Arthur didn't even blink. The machine is even better than I had hoped thought the doctor.
The next day when the couple brought their newborn baby back home they found Arthur's best friend Delbert dead in the front yard.

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Arthur came to work one morning in a state of shock and disbelief.
- What's wrong Arthur, asked a coworker, did something horrible happen to you?
- No, not to me, replied Arthur, but to my best friend Delbert.
- Why, what happened to Delbert?
- He ran away with my wife.

Arthur, does your dog bite?
- No Delbert, he doesn't.
- Oh good, I'll pet it then. Cute doggy doggy ..AAAAGHH. He bit me, you said your dog didn't bite.
- That's not my dog.

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