Bar Jokes Page 1

PAGE 1        2       

Arthur had gone down to the corner bar for a couple of drinks, but it ended up being a bit more than that. At closing time he had had so much to drink that he couldn't even walk to the door.
He crawled out the door and sat down on the sidewalk outside thinking that if he waits a bit he'll be sober enough to walk home.
He waited about an hour and tried to get up but couldn't.
Oh well, he thought, I can't sit here all night, I'll just crawl home.
It took him a while to crawl home but he finally made it. He crawled into his house and up the stairs and into bed and fell asleep.
The next morning Arthur's wife Gertrude woke him up and said.
- Honey, they called from the corner bar and want to know when you're going to pick up your wheelchair.

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender:
- Got bread?
- No.
- Got bread?
- No Mr. Duck, we don't have any bread.
- Oh, Ok then. Doy ou have any bread?
- I already told you you stupid duck, we donít have any bread now if you ask me one more time I'll grab you by the neck and nail your beak to the counter!
- Got nails?
- No.
- Got bread?.

Murder during first Lapetus landing
A team of 127 people entered a lander to Lapetus today, but only 126 made it to the surface alive. U... read more
Titan receives first human settlers
A 242 man crew landed on Titan earlier today to make preparations for what will become the largest m... read more

Lander crashes on Europa killing all 387 on board
A lander carrying 387 people crashed during landing on Europa this morning. All 387 on board died in... read more
Enceladus landing
The first Saturn moon to be settled by humans is now officially Enceladus. 132 people landed on Ence... read more
Arthur talks to a guy in a bar
- Hey you look familiar, didnít I bump into you in Idaho once?
Maybe, but probably not because I've never been there.
Come to think of it I've never been to Idaho either, must have been two other people. But wait, have you ever been to Wyoming?
- No I haven't.
- Well then you might know my brother, he's never been to Wyoming either.

A llama walks into the bar and orders a Miller, drinks the beer, pays and leaves.
- Did you see what just happened? Said Arthur who was also in the bar to the bartender, that's incredible!
- Yes, said the bartender, I agree, I've never seen anything like this before, usually he orders Bud.

NEXT PAGE >>       

All Categories

Submit a joke:
Your Name:
Write or Paste Input here:

Upload picture:      

copyright ©