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Arthur called the airline:
- Hello, if I take the 10:23 flight from JFK to LAX how long will it take to get there?
- One moment sir.
- Wow! That fast! Thanks, said Arthur and hung up.
Chester: ''Back when I was a kid my Dad had a hard time putting food on the table for his family. ''

Lester: ''Gosh! Was your family poor?''

Chester: ''Not really, Dad was just a short fellow!''.
A blue kangaroo, a topless young lady, Grandpa, the Captain of the Titanic, two explorers, a tribal chief, Mrs. Dickie, Farmer Jones and wife and four daughters, a traveling salesman, Murray, Steve, Larry, Susie, Sally, two hippos, a cow, a butcher, a duck, a dog with a bandage on it's foot, a pharmacist, a doctor and the Pope all walk into a bar room together.......
The bartender asks....
''Is this some kind of joke?''.
Why are there so many people called John?
- Because it's a common name.
Lumberjack Paul came out of the North Woods and into town for his monthly supplies at the General Store. The store keeper greeted him, ''Hey Paul, I just got a new shipment of chainsaws.. They are guaranteed to cut ten times as many trees as you do now. '' So Paul purchased a chainsaw and left.

A month later Paul came into town for supplies bringing the chainsaw with him. The store keeper asked Paul how was the chainsaw working out?

''Not so good as you predicted, I've only doubled amount of trees I've cut down. '' said Paul,''and actually, I'd like to get my money back. ''

''Hand it to me and I'll take a look at it. '' said the store keeper. He then took the saw and pulled the starter cord and the saw roared to life.

Paul jumped back startled and yelled, ''What the heck is that noise!!!''.
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