Austin

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Largest spaceship ever built takes off to mine dwarf planets.
The Naruemonia, the largest spaceship ever constructed left the Earth's Moon's orbit today where it ...
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Martian fire kills at least 500
A fire in the small Martian crater city of Koszeg killed most of its inhabitants today. The exact de...
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  An individual reported seeing a long-haired hippie weirdo actually taking a bath. When the individual reported this to the proper authorities he was tucked away in the Austin State Hospital for further evaluation.
Submitted by Bubba
       Category: hippie


An unknown creature has been seen eating the bark off of an old oak tree. On another occasions this creature was also seen slamming coronas at a local swimming pool while catching a tan. Another eye witness also claimed to have seen this creature sniffing paint while roasting marshmallows under a local bridge. This creature is not a threat, but he is known to be very very flirtatious.
    Submitted by Mike
       Category: creature


The corpse of an unknown creature has been seen on several occasions eating the bark off of an old oak tree on Manchaca Road. Witnesses have also reported seeing this creature lounging around the city swimming pool catching a tan while slamming down Coronas. On one other occasion several witnesses claimed to have seen this creature as it did a back flip off of the highest level of diving boards landing flat on it's back slamming onto the water causing it to scream out the words son of a biscuit. This creature is harmless yet very very flirtatious.
Submitted by Kennedy
       Category: creature


As I was walking home from school near South First one afternoon I witnessed an elderly male subject resembling a salamander walking on all fours. As I got closer this individual looked over his back numerous times.
 
Riots rock Callisto
Authorities on Callisto today issued a state of emergency due to the recent riots. Callisto has been...
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Accomplice of Martian arsonist girl arrested
Nine year old Florina Munduwalawala of Montevideo was arrested today on arson charges. She was immed...
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