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Moon Pimp released
The owner of the Moon bordello arrested yesterday for beating a disrespectful customer to death was ...
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Moon pimp arrested for murder
The owner of a popular moon bordello was arrested today after killing a customer after an argument t...
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These are some lies we made up about Streator.

An extremely large jackal has repeatedly been observed in a Streator area store, strolling the aisles.

A huge ibex is often spotted resting at a coffee table in a Streator mobile home frightening folks.

A woman with a bottle-green face has purportedly been distinguished on many instances wandering through an apartment in Streator.
A huge jaguar may regularly be distinguished pacing through a mobile home near Streator.

A gentleman having an axe in his head can be noticed frequently in Bodznick Park late at night dragging a corpse across the dirt.

A guy's body having the head of a raccoon has every now and then been seen hurling chunks of concrete into the current at Eagle Creek before sunrise.

The ghost of a man carrying a sword has been said to have been observed on numerous instances at a coin operated phone in Streator talking on the telephone.
New visa restrictions for Martians visiting Earth
Starting the first of next month Martians planning to visit Earth must undergo and pass a psychologi...
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Twenty miners feared lost in space
A group of twenty miners working on a small asteroid floated off into space yesterday when their anc...
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