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Peter: ''Holy Cow! The entire Universe just disappeared!!''

GOD: ''No matter!''

+++++++ +++++++ +++++

Peter: ''Where did the Universe come from???''

GOD: ''I got a really good deal from the previous owner!''.
Ted: ''Knock! Knock!''

Ned: ''Who's there?''

Ted: ''Juan''

Ned: ''Juan who?''

Ted: ''Juan did you get home?''.
The police pulled Arthur's car over.
-Sir, do you mind if I go through your car?
- Not at all officer, but wouldn't it be easier to go around it.
Downtown at the exclusive Gentle Men's Club, Reginald and Woodrow were using the facilities in the lavatory. As Reginald finished up, bypassed the sinks and began to exit, Woodrow spoke up.....

''I say there Reggie old sport, at Harvard they taught to wash our hands after using the bathroom!'' remarked Woodrow

''That may true Woody old boy, But at Yale they taught us not to pee on our hands!'' retorted Reginald.
What do you call a hippie's wife?
Mississippi.
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