Mixed Jokes Page 1


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After a long night of drinking with his friends at the local tavern Dave began to stagger homeward. He finally arrived at the front door of his house and went inside and passed out in his bed. He was very restless in bed was plagued by very strange dreams. He awoke to bright sunshine in his eyes, a dry mouth and pounding hangover headache. He looked at his watch and realized he was going to late for work. He was up like a shot, got dressed and ran out the house to his job. He clocked in to his job with seconds to spare. His boss stopped him a the door and said, ''I glad you made to work on time Dave. But why are you dressed like a cowboy?''.



Ward: What's the difference between ignorance and indifference?

June: I don't know and I don't care!.



   


   
Rowan: Where do bees store their historical documents?
Martin: In the ArcHIVE!
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Rowan: Where do polar bears keep their money?
Martin: In a snow bank!
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Rowan: Why don't stray mutts go to the Dog Pound in Europe?

Martin: Because they are on the Metric System!

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Rowan: How do bees style their hair?

Martin: They use a honey comb!

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Rowan: Did the barber charge the bald man money for coming into his shop?

Martin: He had toupee! ( to pay )

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Rowan: Did you have enough cash for a new car battery?

Martin: No, I just charged it!

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Rowan: Where do comedians stay over night?

Martin: At the Laugh Inn!

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Rowan: What do State Troopers put on their toast?

Martin: Traffic Jam!.




Paul: What caused the seismologist to trip?

Harvey: It was his own fault!

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Paul: What happened to the magic shop that used be downtown?

Harvey: It disappeared!

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Paul: What goes Ding! Dong! Is red and comes in a can?

Harvey: CampBELL's Tomato Soup!

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Paul: What happened to your playthings you left out in the rain overnight?

Harvey: Toys R Rust!.




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