Arthur Junior was playing with his set of trains in the living room.
Choo choo, he said, we are now arriving at Delbertville Central Station. All you %$#$%% ^%&%$# who are getting off here get the #@$# off this train so we can get to Rueprecht City on time.
Arthur's mom came rushing in from the kitchen. ARTHUR! WE DON'T USE WORDS LIKE THAT IN THIS HOUSE! Wash your mouth with soap and go up to your room for one hour.
After the one hour sentence was up Arthur Junior came back downstairs and started playing again.
-Choo choo all aboard, he said. we would like to welcome all passengers to the Rueprecht City Express, we hope you will al have a wonderful journey with us today. If anyone is unhappy with the one hour delay please take it up with the fat bitch in the kitchen.
Hey Delbert, just got back from the convenience store.
-Oh yeah, how did that go Arthur?
- Well the street was full of cars and there was no way to find a legal parking spot. When I got out of the store I saw a cop writing a parking ticket. So I told him, come on man, this is not cool, give a guy a break!
But he just ignored me and kept writing the ticket. And then when he checked the license plate he noticed that the tags were expired so he started writing another ticket for that. Then I got angry and told him what a jerk I thought he was.
He just smiled and wrote another ticket for the cracked rear view mirror. Then I yelled at him that his mother was a @#$^%&*. He just kept smiling and looked around the car and wrote another ticket for incorrect tire pressure, I didn't even know you could get a ticket for that!
This is when I got really angry, I insulted him in the strongest possible way. After that the cop started getting angry, he inspected the car in every detail and started writing tickets like crazy, he must have written a few thousand dollars worth of tickets!
It was getting late though so I decided to walk back home. Lucky I didn't drive my car there or I might have gotten a ticket too.
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You know Arthur, said Doctor Rueprecht, you really should quit drinking, it'll make your life longer.
- Yes Doctor, said Arthur, you're absolutely right. Yesterday I didn't have a drink all day and it was the longest day of my life.
Arthur's son Arthur Junior was late for school.
- What's your excuse Arthur? Asked his teacher.
- You're not gonna believe this but the bus broke down. So I got off the bus and saw a llama. I got on the llama and started riding toward the school. After a while the llama fell down dead, so I left the llama where he died and ran the rest of the way.
- That's the worst excuse I've ever heard, said the teacher, a llama of all things huh? One hour detention after shhool!
A few minutes later 15 kids came panting through the door.
- You guys are late too? Asked the teacher, what happened to you guys.
Delbert's son Delbert Junior said: - Our bus broke down, so we all grabbed a llama and rode, then suddenly the llamas all died and we all ran the rest of the way.
- Yeah right, one hour detention after school!
A few minutes later Douglas' son Douglas Junior showed up late.
- Sorry I'm late, you won't believe what happened, I got on the bus as usual and then...
- Let me guess, the teacher cut in, the bus broke down and...
- No no, said Douglas Junior, the bus was fine but the street was full of dead llamas so the bus couldn't pass.
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