Two burglars were getting very annoyed.
- Man, this is the 23rd safe we bust open tonight and not a penny, these guys are supposed to be loaded.
- Yeah, I though these safe factories made lots of money.
Arthur, why do you always walk around with your hands in your pockets?
- Well Delbert, uhm, it's kinda embarrassing but ok, I'll tell you. My fingers are different length and I have a complex about that.
Ted: Knock! Knock!
Fred: Who's there?
Ted: Kenya, Africa.
Fred: Kenya, Africa who?
Ted: Kenya get me a cup of coffee Africa I come inside ?.
Arthur are you cold?
- Yes, Delbert, I am.
- Get into the corner, it's 90 degrees.
Have you really lived in this house your whole life?
- Not yet.
Policeman: ''Gosh Sarge, you've had a busy morning nabbing all those crooks! Will you taking it easy the rest of the day sitting behind your desk?''
Sergeant: ''Yeah! So what? I'm A RESTING OFFICE CHAIR!''.
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on the beds next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, ''What are you in here for?'' The second kid says, ''I'm in here to get my tonsils out.'' The first kid says, ''You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!'' The second kid then asks, ''What are you here for?''
The first kid says, ''A circumcision.'' And the second kid says, ''Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!''