Arthur was talking to a guy in a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper.
- You know, said the guy, I've been looking at the way the wind blows around this building and I think that if you jump out that window right there the air currents will take you down safely and put you softly on your feet on the sidewalk right in front of the building.
- That's impossible, said Arthur, can't be done.
No I'm pretty sure, let me prove it to you, said the guy and jumped out the window.
A few minutes later he showed up in the elevator without a scratch.
- Wow, that's the most incredible thing I've ever seen, I have to try that too, said Arthur and jumped out the window.
The bartender looks up and says: - That was not very nice Superman.
Arthur: -What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: - A mosquito can fly but a fly cant mosquito.
Mac is a rather large man and he is a substitute bus driver for the school district and is assigned a new route for the week. Monday morning he starts his run.....
At first stop a portly girl boards the bus...
Mac greets her,''Good morning, What's your name?''
''Patty'' she replies and she takes a seat.
At the second stop, another portly girl boards the bus.
Mac greets her, ''Good morning, What's your name?''
''Patty'' she replies and takes a seat.
At the third stop there is a mother waiting with her son.
Mac greets the boy, ''Good morning, What's your name?''
The mother speaks up on his behalf,''This is my son, Ross.. He really doesn't talk very much... Well.. He's kind of special. ''
The boy silently takes a seat.
At the fourth stop there is this wild looking boy waiting.
Mac greets him, ''Good morning, What's your name?''
The boy, full of energy, answers, ''Lester!.. Lester Cheese!'' and comes bounding aboard the bus and as soon as he sits down pulls off his shoes and begins picking at the callouses on his feet...
The week passes by and Mac thinks that actually this has been best behaved bunch of kids he has ever driven. He decides to to reward them with a special treat. So Thursday night he goes does to the bus barn with cans of brightly colored paint and artist brushes. On the side of the sides of the school bus he paints a mural featuring Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie, Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog, Elmo, and Big Bird.
Friday morning Mac starts his route and kids are just thrilled with the paint job. They are so excited! They start whooping and shouting and jumping up and down in their seats. The bus drives past a motorcycle cop and all of this commotion catches his attention and he pulls the school bus over.
The cop strolls up to the driver's window and says...
''Well, well, well! Who do we have here?''.....
''I'm Big Mac with two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking his bunions, all on Sesame Street Bus!''.