Word Jokes Page 34

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Time flies. But you can't, they're too fast.

There were three men in a boat with four cigarettes but no matches, how did they manage to smoke?
- They threw one cigarette overboard and made the boat a cigarette lighter.


Hey Arthur, long time no see. Oh my god, what happened to you, you've lost your hand. How did that happen?
Well Delbert, no biggie really, tiger bit it off.
Oh ok, what are you looking for here on the street anyway Arthur?
Well, Delbert, I'm looking for a second hand store.

An American lawyer went hiking with his Czech associates. Unfortunately, they met with a couple of bears, a female and a male. The lawyer was quick and climbed up the tree. His Czech was not lucky. The male bear swallowed him whole. After a while the bears left, the lawyer quickly went into town to get the police. They came back into the woods, found the two bears sitting under a tree. The lawyer told the police ''There that's the one, the male on the right.'' The police then aimed his gun and shot the female. The lawyer was confused, so he shouted ''What the heck are you shooting the female one for?''. The police replied ''''Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the Male?'' .

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