Cowboy Arthur had just bought two horses from a local horse trader but had a hard time telling them apart. He decided to cut off one ear on one of the horses. But a few days later the other horse got his ear stuck in a gate and tore it off so now he couldn't tell them apart again.
So he came up with the idea to cut the tail off one of them. But the same night the other horse accidentally stuck his tail in the campfire and it burned off completely and the two horses looked the same to Cowboy Arthur again.
Arthur was out of ideas but one day his cousin Arthur came to visit. Arthur was a veterinarian, he suggested that he would amputate the legs on one of the horses to be able to tell them apart. Arthur thought that was a great idea and he had Arthur perform the procedure the same day.
- Wow cousin Arthur, that did it. The black horse is three feet shorter than the white horse now, no way I'll get 'em mixed up now.
A sailor and a pirate are talking in a bar.
- Wow, said the sailor, you really have it all. Wooden leg, hand hook, eye patch. How did you loose your leg?
- Har, I fell overboard in a battle and a shark bit off my leg.
- Whoo, sounds painful, how about your hand how did you lose that?
- Har, har. It was cut off by an enemies sword during battle.
- Wow, and how about your eye, how did you lose your eye?
- Har, that happened when a mosquito flew into my eye, har.
- A mosquito in the eye, how could you lose an eye from that?
- Har Har, it was my first day with the hook, har.
Hey Arthur, long time no see. Oh my god, what happened to you, you've lost your hand. How did that happen?
Well Delbert, no biggie really, tiger bit it off.
Oh ok, what are you looking for here on the street anyway Arthur?
Well, Delbert, I'm looking for a second hand store.