Miscellaneous Jokes Page 9
Two explorers are captured by wild natives and tied up in the village center.... The tribal Chief approaches and asks the first captive explorer...
''Unga Bunga or death?''
The first explorer thinks what could be worse than death and answers,''I choose Unga Bunga!''
The Chief shouts,''Unga Bunga it is!!''
The tribesmen haul him off to the the jungle. For the two hours horrible screams are heard. Finally he is returned and collapses in front of the second explorer whimpering.... ''For God's sake man!! Choose death! Choose death.... ''
The tribal Chief approaches the second captive explorer and asks him....
''Unga Bunga or death?''
The second explorer says, following the advice of his poor suffering comrade'' I choose death!''
Then the Chief shouts, '' Death it is!... By Unga Bunga!''.
The Pope flies in from Vatican City and his private jet lands at Kennedy Airport, New York... A stretch limosine is there to pick him up and take him to his downtown hotel... The Pope says to the driver... ''You know back at the Vatican I rarely get to drive.. Would you mind if I drove?''... The Driver answers... ''You know, In all my years I have never rode in the back. You got a deal!''.... And so they take off down the freeway to town.. In the back of this fancy car behind dark tinted windows the driver is relaxing in luxury listening to the stereo and drinking scotch whiskey from the mini bar.... Up front, things are not going well.... It turns out Pope is a lousy driver.. Speeding and swerving through traffic.... His bad driving catches the attention of a State Trooper and he is pulled over... The trooper asks the Pope for his license and is stunned realizing he has just pulled over the Pope driving a limo.... The Trooper heads back to his cruiser and gets on the radio to his sergeant at State Police Headquarters and says....
''Hey Sarge!! I just pulled a really important guy for speeding. What should I do?''
''That depends,''asks the Sarge,''How important is he?''
''I'm not sure,''answers the Trooper,''All I know is that he has the Pope driving him!''.
Arthur was lying in bed gazing at the stars, and then he thought to himself, what the hell happened to the ceiling.
Arthur was applying for a job at the railroad.
- Ok, here's the scenario, said the interviewer, Two trains are travelling at 75 miles per hour towards each other on the same track, what do you do?
- I'd go and get my friend Delbert.
- Your friend? Why would you do that?
- He's never seen a train wreck before.
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