Jake: ''What happened when the carpenter was confused by his power tool and started angrily yelling?''
Jerry: ''Oh I know! He was Jigsaw Puzzled and used Crosswords!''.
Ray: ''What do call an unsuccessful Veterinarian?''
Jay: '' A Butcher!''.
Librarian #1: ''I was so busy today handling all these old editions I didn't notice that the dust and grime had dirtied the fabric of my dress!''
Librarian #2: ''Well, you what they say.... ''Too many books soil the cloth!''
Shirley: ''I wore a bikini on my beach vacation but so many people were staring and ogling at my breasts it made uneasy. I even wore different tops several times but it kept on happening. I don't think I can enjoy wearing a two piece bathing suit ever again!''
Laverne: ''Well, you know what they say... ''Too many looks spoil the bras!''.
Pete was the poorest dirt farmer in the whole county. His crops never thrived and he did not have any livestock . He barely eked out a living. One day Pete was out hoeing weeds and he dug up the proverbial magical lamp. In a cloud of blue smoke out came the Genie..
''You may have one wish!'', spoke the Genie,''Anything in the entire world can be yours! Absolutely any possibility you can imagine! Anything that your heart may desire! This will be yours!''
''My neighbor.... '' said Pete.
''Yes?''... Said the Genie with interest.
''My neighbor... Has a goat.. '' said Pete.
''Yes??''... Said the Genie with anticipation.
''My neighbor... Has a goat.. KILL IT!!!'' said Pete.