Miscellaneous Jokes Page 6

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A blue kangaroo enters the bar room...
''What will it be?'' asks the bartender..
''A Vodka Martini. '' says the blue kangaroo.
''That will be 28 dollars please. '' says the bartender.
The blue kangaroo pays him.
''You know something?'' says the bartender, ''We've never have had a blue kangaroo in this bar before. ''
''You know something?'' answers the blue kangaroo,''At these prices, you never will again!''.

A blue kangaroo, a topless young lady, Grandpa, the Captain of the Titanic, two explorers, a tribal chief, Mrs. Dickie, Farmer Jones and wife and four daughters, a traveling salesman, Murray, Steve, Larry, Susie, Sally, two hippos, a cow, a butcher, a duck, a dog with a bandage on it's foot, a pharmacist, a doctor and the Pope all walk into a bar room together.......
The bartender asks....
''Is this some kind of joke?''.


The Native tribe had been on the winter huntings grounds and now the season was over and it was time to break camp and depart... The years had caught up with Grandpa and he had not contributed to the hunt that barely fed the tribe.. All around the activities of breaking camp were happening... His grandkids scurried about collecting firewood and placing it in reach of Grandpa who sat in front of a meager fire.. The Chief of the tribe gave a whistle and his people lined up and trudged away into the winter's night. The woods grew silent and Grandpa sat alone in front of his small fire ruminating on his life that had gone by so swiftly..
The silence was broken by the howling of wolves and soon dozens of yellow eyes were reflected by the firelight in the perimeter of darkness. Grandpa reached to add more sticks to his fire and realized he had ran out.. The small fire burned down to a mere flicker then went out. The wolves descended upon Grandpa and began to tear him to pieces... Just before Grandpa passed out he thought to himself...

''You know, I sure left my Grandpa more firewood than this!''.

Sally borrows her Dad's old school Volkswagen Beetle and drives to the local shopping mall and parks, leaving the headlights on. She returns after a couple of hours later and of course the battery is dead and the engine won't even turn over. She opens the front hood and is perplexed at what she sees. So she calls her older sister Susie for advice.

''Hey Sis,'' says Sally,''I am down at the mall with Dad's VW and someone has stolen the engine! Gosh, is he going to angry!''

''Hey, No worries!'', says Susie,''I am pretty sure Dad always keeps a spare engine in the trunk!''.

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