Miscellaneous Jokes Page 5

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Downtown at the exclusive Gentle Men's Club, Reginald and Woodrow were using the facilities in the lavatory. As Reginald finished up, bypassed the sinks and began to exit, Woodrow spoke up.....

''I say there Reggie old sport, at Harvard they taught to wash our hands after using the bathroom!'' remarked Woodrow

''That may true Woody old boy, But at Yale they taught us not to pee on our hands!'' retorted Reginald.

You Wanna Vet??????

========= =======

Nurse: ''How are the cow's intestines?''

Doctor: ''Just offal!''

========= ========= =======

Nurse: ''What do give a snake with a headache?''

Doctor: ''ASPirin!''

========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ====

Nurse: ''You look sad after examining that goose!''

Doctor: ''I was just feeling down!''

========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =======

Nurse: ''The pony has a laryngitis!''

Doctor: ''Oh, is he a little hoarse?''

========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ==

Nurse: ''Should we X-ray this feline?''

Doctor: ''No, this calls for a Cat Scan!''.


Sean: ''What do they call Ping Pong in China?''

Shawn: ''I don't know?''

Sean: ''Ping Pong!''.

On the front porch of Sunny Acres retirement home in rocking chairs sat three old men named Ted, Fred, and Ned. They were ruminating on the present state of their health.

Ted began,''You know, try as I might, I just can't pee like I used to. It just dribbles out and takes such a long time... ''

Fred chimed in, ''I hear what your saying but for me it's so difficult to poop like I used to. It's such a struggle and strain.... ''

Ned started,''As for myself, peeing is not a problem. Every morning at exactly 7:30 I piss a stream like a fire hose! When it comes to pooping it is just magnificent! At exactly 7:45 I crap a load like an elephant! The only problem,'' Ned then sighed, '' Is I get out of bed at exactly 8:OO!''.

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