Miscellaneous Jokes Page 5

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You Wanna Vet??????


Nurse: ''How are the cow's intestines?''

Doctor: ''Just offal!''


Nurse: ''What do give a snake with a headache?''

Doctor: ''ASPirin!''


Nurse: ''You look sad after examining that goose!''

Doctor: ''I was just feeling down!''


Nurse: ''The pony has a laryngitis!''

Doctor: ''Oh, is he a little hoarse?''


Nurse: ''Should we X-ray this feline?''

Doctor: ''No, this calls for a Cat Scan!''.

Sean: ''What do they call Ping Pong in China?''

Shawn: ''I don't know?''

Sean: ''Ping Pong!''.


On the front porch of Sunny Acres retirement home in rocking chairs sat three old men named Ted, Fred, and Ned. They were ruminating on the present state of their health.

Ted began,''You know, try as I might, I just can't pee like I used to. It just dribbles out and takes such a long time... ''

Fred chimed in, ''I hear what your saying but for me it's so difficult to poop like I used to. It's such a struggle and strain.... ''

Ned started,''As for myself, peeing is not a problem. Every morning at exactly 7:30 I piss a stream like a fire hose! When it comes to pooping it is just magnificent! At exactly 7:45 I crap a load like an elephant! The only problem,'' Ned then sighed, '' Is I get out of bed at exactly 8:OO!''.

Sean: ''What's brown and sounds like a bell?''

Shawn: ''Dunnnggggg!''


She came in from the garden with a basket of flowers as I was playing the Wurlitzer... I said.. ''Put the roses on the table your tulips on my organ''....

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