
Arthur was lying in bed gazing at the stars, and then he thought to himself, what the hell happened to the ceiling.

Arthur was applying for a job at the railroad. - Ok, here's the scenario, said the interviewer, Two trains are travelling at 75 miles per hour towards each other on the same track, what do you do? - I'd go and get my friend Delbert. - Your friend? Why would you do that? - He's never seen a train wreck before.
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Hey Arthur, did you know that we only use 10% of our brain capacity - What about the other 10%.

A very old gentleman from the country side went to the big city for the very first time in his life. He went into a department store and saw an elevator, he had never seen an elevator before and looked at it wondering what it was. After a while an old lady came along and got in the elevator, the door closed. The man kept looking. A short while later the elevator door opened up and a young lady stepped out. - I gotta try that, said the old man.
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