Marriage Jokes Page 5

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Douglas was desperate for a wife put an ad ''Wife Wanted''. The following day, a bunch of letters came. All saying ''You can have mine''.

Douglas is 34 years old still single. His best pal Arthur asked, ''Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?'' Douglas said, ''Actually, I've found many I wanted to marry, but my mother doesn't like any of them.'' Arthur thinks for a moment and says, ''I've got an idea , just find a girl who's just like your mother.'' A few months later they meet again and his friend asks, ''Did you find the perfect girl? '' Douglas answers, ''Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. My mother liked her very much.'' Since Douglas doesn't look happy, Arthur said, ''Then what's the problem?'' ''My father doesn't like her.'' , Douglas replied.


Arthur and Gertrude had a car accident while driving to a church to get married. Now they are both together again in heaven. They really want to get married , so they discussed their need with St. Peter who promised to help them out. However, they haven't heard from him for 10 years. After 20 years has passed he came to them with a priest. They finally got married and lived happily together for 5 years. Arthur came to see St. Peter asking if he could help him since the marriage was not going well. He asked him ''could you help us get divorce?'' St. Peter answered, ''Are you kidding?!! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?'' .

Arthur came home from work. He was too tired so he went straight to bed. He saw that his wife was sound asleep, so he tried to be very quiet. He tucked himself in next to her. He looked at the end of the bed; he saw some feet sticking out from under the blanket, so he started counting them. 1..2..3..4..5..6. ''Oh. no something's wrong. There are two of us, so there should be four feet'', he told himself quietly, not wanting to wake his wife up. He stood up and walked to the end of the bed and started counting again. 1...2...3...4. Okay! There you go! He then went back to bed.

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