Arthur called home work. ''I won 20 million bucks on the lottery, start packing!'' Gertrude: Wow! What kind of clothes should I pack? Arthur: I don't care, as long as you're out of the house by the time I get home. .
Divorce judge: Ms Gertrude, this court will see to it that you shall receive 2000 dollars a month in alimony Arthur: Thank you very much your honor, I'll give her a few dollars myself too.
Bigamy and monogamy is the same thing Delbert. - How's that Arthur? - One wife too many.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.