Marriage Jokes Page 2

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Arthur the Cannibal was having lunch with his friend Delbert the Cannibal.
- Delbert, I don't like my wife.
- At least eat your vegetables Arthur.




Honey, Gertrude, I'm home . . . Oh my god, what's this mess?
- Oh Arthur honey, yesterday you asked me what exactly I do at home all day and today I didnít do those things.



   


   
A Nightcrawler gentleman was out for a walk on a fine day and met a pretty looking Nightcrawler lady.
- Good day Mr. Nightcrawler, said the lady, would you like to come back to my place?
- I would love to mam, but aren't you married?
- Oh don't worry, my husband went fishing.




Doctor Rueprecht had invented a machine that transferred the birth pains from the mother to the father and he was going to try it out on one of his patients. Arthur's wife Gertrude was about to give birth so he decided to try the machine on them. He set the machine to 1/2, transferring half of the pain to the father to make it fair. Arthur didn't seem to be in any pain at all so the doctor went ahead and set it to full, transferring all the pain to the father. Arthur didn't even blink. The machine is even better than I had hoped thought the doctor.
The next day when the couple brought their newborn baby back home they found Arthur's best friend Delbert dead in the front yard.




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