An American lawyer went hiking with his Czech associates. Unfortunately, they met with a couple of bears, a female and a male. The lawyer was quick and climbed up the tree. His Czech was not lucky. The male bear swallowed him whole. After a while the bears left, the lawyer quickly went into town to get the police. They came back into the woods, found the two bears sitting under a tree. The lawyer told the police ''There that's the one, the male on the right.'' The police then aimed his gun and shot the female. The lawyer was confused, so he shouted ''What the heck are you shooting the female one for?''. The police replied ''''Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the Male?'' .
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
Hey Arthur, what do lawyers use as birth-control? - Don't know Delbert. - Their personalities.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.