Dirty Jokes Page 3
Down at the bank a young lady place a large glass jar of nickels on the counter and said to the bank teller, ''I wish to put these nickels in my savings account. ''
The bank teller looked at the large jar of nickels and said,''Golly Miss, You sure have hoarded a big jar nickels!''
The young lady blushed and said, ''Truth be told, my sister whored half of them.''.
Lou: ''Did you hear what happened to lady explorer who spent a night in King Tut's Tomb?''
Bud: ''Yeah, nine months later she was a mummy!''
Lucy: ''Being pregnant sure makes me feel sweaty and out of breath. ''
Ethel: ''How far along are you?''
Lucy: ''Oh, about ten minutes!''.
Back in the good old days, the milkman was making his rounds with horse and wagon. It was a sultry summer's day in the city. The old horse pulling the fully loaded milk wagon collapsed flat on the pavement. The veterinarian was summoned and arrived. After a cursory examination of the poor stricken animal the doctor reached down and took hold of the horse's testicles and gave them both a mighty twist. The horse let out terrible whinny, leaped to it's feet, and then took off like a shot down the street, dragging the milk wagon at top speed, with milk bottles clanking and falling off with the crash of breaking glass and exploding sprays of spilled milk. The horse and wagon were soon out of sight heading down the street and around the corner.
The milkman stood there for a moment and then dropped his trousers.
''Good God man! What are you doing?'' exclaimed the perplexed Doctor.
''Well, you best give mine a twist too!'' said the milkman,''Because NOW I have to go chase after him!''.
Meanwhile, down on the farm.......
Farmer Jones catches two hobos stealing his crops... At the point of his shotgun he marches the pair to his barn and locks one them inside. Still pointing his shotgun at the first hobo he asks him what his favorite thing to eat is.
''Blueberries!'' answer the first hobo.
''The come with me to the blueberry field!'' said Farmer Jones still pointing the shotgun.
Upon arriving at the blueberry field Farmer Jones orders the hobo....
''Drop your britches and start putting blueberries where the sun don't shine!''
The first hobo, being at gun point complies with the order but then soon bursts out laughing.
''What's so darned funny??'' asked a puzzled Farmer Jones.
''My buddy's favorite thing to eat... ''answered the first hobo between guffaws,'... Is WATERMELONS!!!''.
Submit a joke:
copyright © jokesandlies.com