Dirty Jokes Page 2
The young married couple wanted to start a family. After a few years they had yet to become pregnant. Voicing the concerns to their family doctor he referred them to a fertility specialist. The couple arrived at his office and sat down in front of his desk. The specialist began:
''How often do you make love?'', asked the fertility doctor.
''What do you mean?'' answered the couple.
''I mean, how often do copulate?''asked the doctor.
''We don't understand that word. '' replied the couple.
''Ah, how many times a week do and in what positions do you have sexual intercourse?'' asked perplexed doctor.
''We haven't a clue what your talking about. ''said the couple.
''Allow me to demonstrate what I am talking about with these visual aids. '' said the doctor. He then took out from his desk drawer a pair of female and male anatomically correct dolls and on his desk top demonstrated the physical act of procreation.
The wife screamed and fainted. The husband got up from his chair and punched the doctor in the face.
Noel: ''I heard Dave suffered a terrible groin injury when his bicycle seat fell off while riding. ''
Leon: ''That's awful! What's the prognosis?''
Noel: ''He's ruined for Wife!''
Leon: ''This sounds serious! Will he father any more children?''
Noel: ''No kidding and no kidding!''
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Lucy: ''Are you lying to me about your vasectomy?''
Desi: ''I would never kid you!''
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IUD = Love Spring Internal.
Dr. Sigmund: ''I have a patient who is an agnostic dyslexic who suffers from insomnia!''
Dr. Fred: ''Sounds awful!''
Dr. Sigmund: ''I know, he lies in bed all night long wondering if there really is a dog!''
Dr. Fred: ''Well you think that's bad, I have a patient who is a masochist into bestality and necrophilia!''
Dr. Sigmund: ''What happened?''
Dr. Fred: ''He had to give it all up because he felt like he was beating a dead horse!''.
A Scotsman, fresh off the boat from Glasgow, was out one windy evening strolling the streets of New York City. The strong breeze was blowing newspapers and leaves around through the air. Pedestrians were clutching their hats struggling against the squally winds. As the the Scotsman passed by a pretty young lady on the sidewalk a sudden gust blew her skirt above her waist up to her armpits.
The Scotsman commented,''It's very airy, isn't it Miss?''
The young lady blushed and replied,''Well what did you expect, feathers?''.
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