Airplane Jokes

Arthur, Delbert, and Douglas had been going to skydiving school and were about to have their first jump.
- Ok now everyone listen up, just do as you remember from class. Jump out, count to three and pull the handle. If the parachute fails to open just go and get another in the storage.

The small plane was going down with Arthur, Delbert and Douglas who was the pilot.
-Oh oh this is bad, said Douglas, we only have 2 parachutes .
Arthur quickly grabbed a parachute and jumped out.
Oh well, said Delbert. I guess the pilot has to go down with his plane, sorry buddy I'm gonna have to take the last chute, nice knowing you.
- Don't worry, said Douglas, Arthur took my backpack.


Arthur and Gertrude was taking a trip on a twin engine airplane when the captain came on the speaker.
- This is your captain speaking, one of our engines has stopped working. But we still have one good engine running so there's no need to panic.
Gertrude: - Well Arthur honey, I hope the other one doesn't quit on us, in that case we'll have to sit here all night.

Arthur was an experiencd pilot and had been warned that the runway they were landing on was very short so he was being extra careful. When the plane approached the runway it seemed even shorter than he had imagined. But he was a good pilot and he knew he could do this. He went down extra slow and touched the ground right at the edge of the runway. He applied maximum brakes, things were flying around in the cabin and the passengers were screaming in panic. But Arthur got the plane to stop an inch from the other edge of the runway. He turned to his co-pilot Delbert and said:
- That was the shortest runway I have ever seen in my whole life.
- Yeah, said Delbert, and look how wide it is.

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