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Two grains of sand were laying on the beach, one said:
- I think we're surrounded.
What do you call a hippie's wife?
Mississippi.
Arthur got hit by a garbage truck and died. Saint Peter wasn't sure what to do with him since Arthur wasn't good enough for heaven but not quite bad enough for hell.
- Ok Arthur, I'll let you pick where you want to go. I'm going to show you both places and then you can pick.
First Saint Peter took Arthur down to hell. It was a place with beautiful sunny beaches and pretty waitresses serving drinks to everybody. Then Saint Peter took Arthur up to heaven and showed him around. It was a quiet place with angels flying around and people meditating, some lady was playing a harp and things like that.
- Well Saint Peter, thanks for showing me around, said Arthur. I pick hell, no doubt about it.
- Ok Arthur, said Saint Peter. And Arthur was taken down to hell.
A week later Saint Peter got a phone call from Arthur in hell.
- Saint Peter, I think there's been some kind of mistake. This place is nothing like the place you showed me. They have me chained up to a wall, there's this guy that shows up all the time with a different torture device every time. We just finshed a session of pulling out nails, and he said we're doing some electric shock torture next.
- Yeah, said Saint Peter, but when I took you down there you were there as a tourist.
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