Arthur: -What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: - A mosquito can fly but a fly cant mosquito.
Doctor Rueprecht the gynecologist had decided to change his career and become a mechanic. So he signed up for evening classes and learned all he could. When time for the exam approached, he prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, and asked him about the mark. The instructor said, ''During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the muffler?? .
Arthur, why did it take so long to clean the basement windows?
- I had to bury the ladder Gertrude.
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked Arthur who was a witness. ''Isn't it true?'' he bellowed, ''that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case.'' Arthur stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. The prosecutor again shouted, ''Isn't it true that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case?'' Arthur still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, ''Sir, please answer the question.'' ''Oh, I thought he was talking to you'', Arthur said.