How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? ?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.
Gertrude went hunting and accidentally shot a man. She rushed him to Doctor Rueprecht and explained to him what had happened.
- He kept screaming ''I'm a deer, I'm a deer'' but I guess he was screaming ''I'm not a deer. I just got caught up in the excitement I guess and shot him thinking he was a deer. Tell me Doctor, is he going to make it?
- Well, said the doctor, his chances would have been better if you wouldn't have skinned him.
Arthur Junior: - Would you punish me for some thing I didn't do?
His teacher: -No, of course not.
Arthur Junior: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
Hey Arthur, what do lawyers use as birth-control?
- Don't know Delbert.
- Their personalities.
What do you call a hippie's wife?
Arthur, why are your eyes closed?
- Well Delbert, I was in the middle of a blink and I got bored.
copyright © jokesandlies.com