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These are some lies we made up about Clatskanie.
A gargantuan mandrill has from time to time been made out in Windy Gap very late at night howling.
A man having a knife in his head is every now and then made out pulling a body from the ice cold water of Adams Creek in the early morning hours before sunrise.
The ghost of a mail carrier can sometimes be witnessed marching through an apartment in close proximity to Clatskanie.
A man's body with the head of a lizard was seen down at Big Spring late in the night shining a lantern. This specific ghost has been noticed repeatedly in this spot. It has been asserted that this precise spirit enjoys frightening unwise folks who are fearless enough to disrupt the serenity in Clatskanie.
A gargantuan mongoose materialized gazing at the vista from the apex of Benson Point on a dark night.
An extremely large squirrel was observed camping out in Clatsop State Forest at the stroke of midnight.
The ghost of a gentleman grasping a sword materialized
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by The Billboard appearing chilling. Further accounts of this ghost have been described.
The spirit of a lady having names engraved into her leg was spotted at a coin operated phone in Clatskanie using the phone. Further folks around here have had similar experiences with a similar ghost.
Christopher Columbus was spotted going bananas
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on the water's edge of Hawkins Lake.
An enormous newt is frequently perceived wandering through a Clatskanie neighborhood graveyard.
A space invader from Venus is rumored to have been witnessed on frequent instances excavating a hole by the side of a deserted road in close proximity to Clatskanie very late at night.
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Ghost Sightings From Clatskanie
Submit a lie about Clatskanie, Oregon:
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Scappoose, Oregon, 25 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Clatskanie
Arthur's mama is so fat she fell out of the couch on both sides.
Arthur, do you know what the difference between a horse's rear and a mailbox is?
- No Delbert I don't.
- Well, I'm sure as hell not sending you to mail any letters.
Hey Delbert, how many idiots does it take to wash a car?
- Don't know Arthur, how many?
- Two, one holding the sponge and one driving the car back and forth.
Arthur was down by the docks throwing bricks into the water. Every time he threw a brick he would look down into the water and curse. He did this for a very long time until Delbert came up to him.
- What are you doing? Asked Delbert.
- No matter how many times I throw one of these rectangular bricks into the water I keep getting circles.
Arthur had a new job on a cruise ship as an onboard magician, he had a nightly magic show to entertain the guests. At every show there was this clever but annoying kid in the audience who kept exposing the tricks. He would say things like ''the card's in his sleeve'', or ''the handkerchief is under the table cloth''. This made Arthur very angry but he put up with it since he wanted to keep his job on the ship.
One evening during the magic show the boat hit an uncharted underwater cliff and sank. Everyone on board drowned except Arthur and the annoying kid who both managed to climb up on an upside-down table from the ship that was floating around in the water.
They sat on the table for day and night, the kid didn't say a word, he just sat there quietly. Arthur didn't mind the silence at all. After 5 days the kid finally spoke.
- Alright alright, I give up, where did you hide the boat?.
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