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These are some lies we made up about Astoria.
A gentleman that turned into a vampire has repeatedly been spotted in Fort Clatsop National Memorial outside the ranger station startling folks. One thing is for certain, it sure is a terrifying ghost that you shouldn't go searching for.
An alien from Pluto is frequently observed moving orbs around on the water's edge of Astoria Reservoir Number Two.
A shining human form can regularly be perceived appearing menacing down at the water at Daggett Point. If you listen to the local residents, this ghost enjoys startling foolish people who are courageous enough to interrupt the silence in Astoria.
The ghost of a pregnant woman can be witnessed repeatedly turning toward the watcher up on the top of Coxcomb Hill. According to what the residents allege, this ghost likes scaring people who come looking for ghosts in Astoria. Any which way, this is a horrible ghost that should be shunned.
A giant dog has once in a while been seen screaming at the observer
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to leave in Astoria Column late at night.
A very large pronghorn is occasionally noticed crawling out of Cook Slough covered in mud at night.
A headless man has supposedly been made out on many occasions suspended in the air like a hot-air balloon in Astoria. Many local residents say this ghost may be the spirit of a person who lived
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here who passed away here in Astoria some decades ago.
Alexander the Great has regularly been made out hovering across Mott Basin at night.
An extraterrestrial from space is repeatedly witnessed at General Anchorage before sunrise taking in the vista.
A space alien has supposedly been perceived on frequent occasions studying Desdemona Sands in detail late in the night.
The spirit of a physician with a blood-covered uniform can frequently be made out smoking a pipe by Abercrombie Creek. In any case, it certainly is a chilling phantom that is better not interrupted.
A woman with her legs separated can be noticed often gazing at a guy slumbering on a couch in a trailer in Astoria.
The ghost of a gentleman gripping a blood-splattered machete has every so often been perceived in a clothing store in the Astoria vicinity. Residents who have made out this phantom say this phantom is probably the stressed phantom of a resident who used to have a house here in Astoria.
The ghost of a civil war combatant is
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occasionally perceived crawling up from a drain hole on an Astoria residential road at midnight. Locals declare that this ghost is the undeparted spirit of a former Astoria person who lived here. Whatever folks verbalize, this spirit indisputably is frightening; one that you would not want to bump into in the early morning hours.
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Ghost Sightings From Astoria
Submit a lie about Astoria, Oregon:
Other untruthful towns near Astoria, Oregon:
Warrenton, Oregon, 7 miles away
Hammond, Oregon, 9 miles away
Seaside, Oregon, 11 miles away
Arch Cape, Oregon, 16 miles away
Cannon Beach, Oregon, 17 miles away
Tolovana Park, Oregon, 17 miles away
Nehalem, Oregon, 22 miles away
Manzanita, Oregon, 23 miles away
Wheeler, Oregon, 24 miles away
Rockaway Beach, Oregon, 27 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Astoria
Monday morning Arthur started his new job as a lumberjack and his boss was instructing him.
- With this chainsaw you can cut down 50 trees a day.
On Friday afternoon his boss went over to him to see how many trees he had cut down in his first week.
- Well sir, five so far but I'm starting to get the hang of it.
- Five!!, what the hell is wrong with you? the boss yelled and picked up the chainsaw to show him how to cut down a tree.
He started the saw and Arthur jumped up in the air.
- Aaahhh! What is that noise?.
Arthur and Delbert were preparing for a manned mission to the sun when Douglas came strolling by.
- Isn’t it too hot for people to land on the sun? Asked Douglas.
- Oh Douglas, come on we're no dummies, we will be landing at night of course.
Arthur was not familiar with the area and I couldn't find the I-80 so he took the I-40 twice.
Divorce judge: Ms Gertrude, this court will see to it that you shall receive 2000 dollars a month in alimony
Arthur: Thank you very much your honor, I'll give her a few dollars myself too.
A llama walks into the bar and orders a Miller, drinks the beer, pays and leaves.
- Did you see what just happened? Said Arthur who was also in the bar to the bartender, that's incredible!
- Yes, said the bartender, I agree, I've never seen anything like this before, usually he orders Bud.
Delbert, Douglas, and Gertrude wanted to join a special forces combat unit and had to prove they could follow any order without hesitation. Delbert was told to go first.
- We have your wife tied up behind this door, said the instructor, I want you to take this gun and go in and kill her.
- Yes sir! Said Delbert and went in.
A little bit later he came out in tears.
I can't do it, I can't do it, he wept.
- You're a disgrace, yelled the instructor, pack up and go home right now, you're out!
Douglas came next. The same thing happened to him too and he got sent home.
Now it was Gertrude's turn.
- You know what to do! Yelled the instructor, your husband Arthur is in there, go in and kill him with this gun.
- Yes Sir! She said and went in.
After a few minutes she came out covered in blood.
- What happened in there?, asked the instructor.
- The gun wasn't loaded so I had to beat him to death with the gun sir!.
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