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Santa Barbara, California Lies | |
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These are some lies we made up about Santa Barbara.
A gargantuan jackal may now and then be spotted swallowing orange juice in Alameda Plaza after midnight.
The ghost of a youthful woman wearing a bloody wedding dress was seen trying to locate an object next to a parked Pontiac in a Santa Barbara parking lot after midnight. When the observer showed up the ghost fled. According to what the residents claim, this spirit gets pleasure from frightening foolish people who are brave enough to upset the tranquility in Santa Barbara.
A mermaid was seen reading a pamphlet on the shore of Sheffield Reservoir.
A space invader became visible at Lauro Dam after midnight clutching a human cranium.
A headless woman was perceived in a Santa Barbara area auto part store, strolling the aisles. The appearance of the observer terrified the ghost who then faded away.
The alien navigator of an unidentified flying object was made out late in the night drifting by on Arroyo Burro.
A very large puppy
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has regularly been seen down by East Beach in the early morning hours before sunrise going for a dip.
An alien from Venus is repeatedly distinguished on the peak of Cathedral Peak after midnight examining the panorama.
William Shakespeare can regularly be witnessed soaring over Flores Flat before dawn.
An alien from another galaxy
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has once in a while been seen relaxing at a coffee table in a Santa Barbara residence looking scary.
The ghost of a teen girl has supposedly been spotted on frequent occasions hovering over the Santa Ynez Mountains at midnight.
A colossal dromedary has regularly been seen being carried by a pony in the middle of a road close to Santa Barbara.
The alien commander of an alien spacecraft is regularly seen throwing stones in Angostura Pass late in the night.
An enormous lovebird is rumored to have been noticed on frequent instances at Edgecliff Point at the stroke of midnight looking down into the water.
The ghost of a female having half her head not there can often be distinguished sipping water from Hot Springs at the stroke of midnight. Many folks who live here assert this ghost loves startling foolish folks who come seeking ghosts in Santa Barbara. In any case, it's a terrifying ghost that is rather not messed with.
An alien voyager from another solar system can be observed repeatedly wandering
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through a mobile home next to Santa Barbara.
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Ghost Sightings From Santa Barbara
Submit a lie about Santa Barbara, California:
Other untruthful towns near Santa Barbara, California:
Summerland, California, 8 miles away
Goleta, California, 11 miles away
Carpinteria, California, 13 miles away
Oak View, California, 28 miles away
Santa Ynez, California, 28 miles away
New Cuyama, California, 30 miles away
Solvang, California, 31 miles away
Ojai, California, 31 miles away
Los Olivos, California, 31 miles away
Ventura, California, 35 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Santa Barbara
What's the difference between a coward and a careful person?
A coward is someone else, a careful person is yourself.
Arthur and Delbert were competing about who could lean out the furthest out of a train window. Suddenly Delbert won.
Arthur: -When you fall off a ladder, what would you fall against?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Against your will.
Arthur, why did it take so long to clean the basement windows?
- I had to bury the ladder Gertrude.
Arthur: -What are Brazilian fans called ?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Brazil nuts !.
The police pulled a car over, Arthur was sitting in the backseat.
- Arthur, you know better than to let an aardvark drive your car!
- Oh, this is not my car officer, I'm just hitch-hiking.
Gertrude was making breakfast for Arthur and the kids in the morning when Arthur rushes into the kitchen acting hysterically.
MORE EGGS!! MORE EGGS!! You need to use more eggs. MORE BUTTER TOO!! And MORE SALT!! NO NOT THAT MUCH!! NO NOT THERE OVER THERE!! Why don't you listen to me when you're cooking?? I said MORE EGGS!! no that's too many AAAHHH! TURN THEM OVER NOW!! HURRY! I SAID NOW!! More salt there, no not there I said THERE!! AAAAHH!! YOU'RE RUINING BREAKFAST!!
- Calm down Arthur, what's gotten into you?
- Oh nothing dear, I just wanted you to know how I feel when I'm driving.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Arthur's son Arthur Junior was saying his bed-time prayers and Arthur was listening in from behind the door, he finished by saying ''Bless Mom and Dad and Grandma, and Rest in Peace Grandpa.''
Arthur thought that was a strange thing to say since Grandpa was still alive and well. But the next day Grandpa died of a sudden massive heart attack. Arthur of course thought that was spooky but it was probably a coincidence.
But a few months later it happened again, Arthur's son finished his prayer with ''Bless Mom and Dad, and Rest in Peace Grandma''. The next day Arthur's mother-in-law died unexpectadly.
Old people die all the time figured Arthur, it's just a concidence.
But a few months later he overheard his sons prayer again, this time it ended with ''Bless Mom, and Rest in Peace Dad''.
This is bad thought Arthur. The next day he called in sick but didn't tell his wife Gertrude. He left the house very early before any other cars were out and drove very carefully to the nearest hospital. He sat down in the reception area and just sat there all day, he figured if he gets sick suddenly he'll have a better chance here at the hospital. He sat there until midnight and then he went home feeling very relieved.
- When he got home his wife looked very emotional. ''Where have you been all day I tried to call you at work, something horrible has happened. Your best friend Delbert got hit by a garbage truck and died.''.
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