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San Joaquin, California Lies | |
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These are some lies we made up about San Joaquin.
A woman without a head has purportedly been noticed on a small number of instances coming into sight in a bedroom mirror. It's been declared that this precise spirit is the undeceased soul of an old San Joaquin local resident. In any event, it is in all certainty a frightening ghost that you wouldn't wish to bump into after midnight.
The ghost of a youthful female with a line around her neck may once in a while be seen in Janetski Field late at night pulling a cadaver over the grass. If you listen to the local residents, this ghost is the ghost of a traveler that was killed while passing through San Joaquin some decades ago. No matter what, this is a horrible ghost that any normal person wouldn't wish to come across.
An enormously bloodcurdling phantom was witnessed resting on a stool in a house outside San Joaquin. The ghost was swallowed by the air after being perceived.
An martian vacationer from another planet was observed at midnight running after
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a passing Buick on a shadowy road near San Joaquin.
The ghost of an aged prospector with a sizeable mustache and a wooden leg came into view pulling up weeds in the yard of a house in San Joaquin. When seen the ghost came up to the watcher who then fled.
An extraterrestrial from planet Jupiter was witnessed by an old man camping at a campground near San Joaquin.
An alien from outer space was spotted right by Millerton Lake State Park dining on a chicken drumstick.
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Ghost Sightings From San Joaquin
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Raisin, California, 21 miles away
Riverdale, California, 21 miles away
Fresno, California, 22 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From San Joaquin
Arthur had been a car mechanic ever since he dropped out of high school, he died young at the age of 34. When he met Saint Peter at the gates of heaven he asked:
- Saint Peter, why did you let me die so young?
- Well now Arthur, based on how many hours you've been charging your customers according to your accounting records you are 95 years old.
A sailor and a pirate are talking in a bar.
- Wow, said the sailor, you really have it all. Wooden leg, hand hook, eye patch. How did you loose your leg?
- Har, I fell overboard in a battle and a shark bit off my leg.
- Whoo, sounds painful, how about your hand how did you lose that?
- Har, har. It was cut off by an enemies sword during battle.
- Wow, and how about your eye, how did you lose your eye?
- Har, that happened when a mosquito flew into my eye, har.
- A mosquito in the eye, how could you lose an eye from that?
- Har Har, it was my first day with the hook, har.
Hey Arthur, how did the job interview go, did they call you back?
- No Delbert, I don't know what happened, it all went so well until the very end when they asked me if I have any questions.
- Well what did you ask them?
- I asked them if they file charges.
A note from an kindergarten teacher says: If you promise not to believe everything Arthur Jr. says about what happened in the classroom today, I promise not to believe everything he ever said happened at home.
The town reverend had called together a special town meeting to expose the wickedness of the local casino.
- Who's the richest man in this town? Well let me tell you, it's the casino owner. Who's got the nicest car? the casino owner. Who's got the biggest house? Again the casino owner! And who's paying for all of this? You people are, by spending your hard earned cash in his casino! You people must all stop gambling at the casino or else you will just get poorer and poorer.
The speech made a great impression on Arthur, the local bookstore owner. The next day he met the reverend in front of his book store.
- Reverend, I want to thank you for opening my eyes and letting me see the true nature of gambling and how it robs good people of their livelyhood.
- Well I'm very glad to hear that, I take it you have given up gambling then?
- Hell no, said Arthur, I'm converting my bookstore into a casino.
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