Ontario, California Lies


These are some lies we made up about Ontario.

An enormous polar bear can be distinguished frequently walking a Pit Bull in the early morning hours on a shadowy Ontario residential street.

A space alien from space has from time to time been noticed peeping through trailer windows in Ontario before sunrise.

A woman with worms crawling out of her eyes is now and then seen beside the waterfront at Ontario Reservoir Number 1 smoking a cigar.

The martian navigator of an unidentified flying object has purportedly been witnessed on several occasions articulating into the air up on Red Hill.

An alien vacationer from deep space can now and then be made out browsing through trash container on an Ontario avenue.

A space invader from planet Mars was perceived chucking pieces of wood into the stream at Cucamonga Creek before sunrise.

The ghost of a chained up female came into view in Baldy View Park late at night hauling a dead body across the ground. This specific spirit has been
 
    distinguished over and over again in this area.

A space alien from space was distinguished on an Ontario road at night.

A space invader was witnessed floating in the air like a cloud in Ontario.

A gigantic pronghorn was spotted in a clothing store in the Ontario vicinity.

An alien explorer from another part of the galaxy
  is frequently perceived trying on a shirt in an Ontario trailer.

A female having the head of a beast has allegedly been observed on a small number of instances scaring folks in Angeles National Forest right by the park headquarters. If you listen to what the local residents claim, this phantom may be the soul of a local person who died here in Ontario long ago.

An ET from the Moon may often be seen redistributing orbs about right by the entrance to Mojave National Preserve.

An alien from another world can be perceived time and again ascending out of a drain hole on an Ontario road late at night.

A woman gripping her head underneath her arm has every now and then been made out playing a tune on a fiddle in an Ontario residence. Scores of folks who live here assert this ghost is most likely the stressed ghost of a local resident who used to have a house here in Ontario.

A gargantuan raccoon is occasionally perceived in an Ontario highschool before dawn staggering the halls.

The alien captain of a UFO
has allegedly been noticed on numerous instances in a mirror in an Ontario trailer; the ghost was exclusively visible in the mirror.

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Ghost Sightings From Ontario


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Other untruthful towns near Ontario, California:

Rancho Cucamonga, California, 4 miles away

Upland, California, 5 miles away

Chino Hills, California, 6 miles away

Chino, California, 6 miles away

Mira Loma, California, 6 miles away

Montclair, California, 7 miles away

Claremont, California, 9 miles away

Pomona, California, 11 miles away

La Verne, California, 12 miles away

Mt Baldy, California, 13 miles away

      


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Ghost Sightings From Ontario



- Ok now, what's your name.
- Arthur without a ''Z'' mam.
- There's no ''Z'' in ''Arthur'' sir.
That's right mam.
Hey Delbert, if you can guess exactly how many oranges are in this bag you can have all five of them.
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Sit!
Sit who?
Sit down and be quiet !.
Arthur: -Why do church bells never send e-mails?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -They'd rather give each other a ring.
Doctor Rueprecht had invented a machine that transferred the birth pains from the mother to the father and he was going to try it out on one of his patients. Arthur's wife Gertrude was about to give birth so he decided to try the machine on them. He set the machine to 1/2, transferring half of the pain to the father to make it fair. Arthur didn't seem to be in any pain at all so the doctor went ahead and set it to full, transferring all the pain to the father. Arthur didn't even blink. The machine is even better than I had hoped thought the doctor.
The next day when the couple brought their newborn baby back home they found Arthur's best friend Delbert dead in the front yard.
Arthur's mama's so poor she chases the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Arthur, does your dog bite?
- No Delbert, he doesn't.
- Oh good, I'll pet it then. Cute doggy doggy ..AAAAGHH. He bit me, you said your dog didn't bite.
- That's not my dog.
The town reverend had called together a special town meeting to expose the wickedness of the local casino.
- Who's the richest man in this town? Well let me tell you, it's the casino owner. Who's got the nicest car? the casino owner. Who's got the biggest house? Again the casino owner! And who's paying for all of this? You people are, by spending your hard earned cash in his casino! You people must all stop gambling at the casino or else you will just get poorer and poorer.
The speech made a great impression on Arthur, the local bookstore owner. The next day he met the reverend in front of his book store.
- Reverend, I want to thank you for opening my eyes and letting me see the true nature of gambling and how it robs good people of their livelyhood.
- Well I'm very glad to hear that, I take it you have given up gambling then?
- Hell no, said Arthur, I'm converting my bookstore into a casino.
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