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Merced, California Lies - PAGE 2 | |
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A giant alpaca has now and then been spotted trying on a hat in a Merced home.
The ghost of a young-looking lady dressed in a bloody dress is now and then witnessed creeping out from a storm drain on a Merced residential road in the early morning hours before sunrise.
The alien navigator of a UFO has allegedly been witnessed on many occasions poking around in mailboxes before dawn in Merced.
An extraterrestrial voyager from another galaxy was made out playing a melody on a xylophone in a Merced flat.
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Ghost Sightings From Merced
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Ghost Sightings From Merced
Arthur, why did you tip the parking attendant $100, are you out of your mind?
- But Delbert, look at this beautiful brand new car he upgraded me to.
Do you smoke Arthur? Asked Doctor Rueprecht.
- No.
- That's too bad, it would have done you good to quit.
Hello, this is Arthur in room 234, I would like to order a wake-up call.
- Ok sir, when?
- Right now please. Thanks Bye. . Arthur hangs up.
Hey Delbert, if you can guess exactly how many oranges are in this bag you can have all five of them.
Arthur was an experiencd pilot and had been warned that the runway they were landing on was very short so he was being extra careful. When the plane approached the runway it seemed even shorter than he had imagined. But he was a good pilot and he knew he could do this. He went down extra slow and touched the ground right at the edge of the runway. He applied maximum brakes, things were flying around in the cabin and the passengers were screaming in panic. But Arthur got the plane to stop an inch from the other edge of the runway. He turned to his co-pilot Delbert and said:
- That was the shortest runway I have ever seen in my whole life.
- Yeah, said Delbert, and look how wide it is.
Why are you walking in the middle of the road Arthur?
- I'm scared of the wild flowers on the sides Delbert.
Hilda: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Gertrude: Yes I am; I married the wrong woman.
In the woods, Arthur's wife Gertrude went into labor in the middle of the night, and Doctor Rueprecht was called out to the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, ''Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing'' Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. ''Check it out Arthur!'' said Dr. Rueprecht ''Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there's another one to come.'' Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby. ''No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there's yet another one besides'' said the doctor. Arthur was in bewilderment, and asked Dr. Rueprecht: ''Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?''.
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