Martinez, California Lies


These are some lies we made up about Martinez.

A huge cat may once in a while be witnessed looking for a shoe in Alhambra Valley late in the night.

A colossal chinchilla has frequently been spotted before dawn drifting down on Alhambra Creek.

The phantom of a pregnant female is frequently witnessed tossing pebbles into Pine Lake at night.

The ghost of a youthful guy in a rain coat can repeatedly be made out verbalizing into the air down beside the water at Army Point. In any event, this is an unpleasant ghost that should be steered clear of.

A beheaded guy can be spotted very frequently browsing through a bookshelf in the living room of a Martinez home after midnight. Regardless of what, it's a chilling ghost that is preferably not disturbed.

An alien from space has every so often been observed resting at a coffee table in a Martinez mobile home.

A space man has been said to have been perceived on one or two instances crying up on the peak of Black Hills.

A woman
 
    with her head and right arm and left leg sliced off may from time to time be spotted on the pinnacle of one of the hills in the Black Hills in the early morning hours staring. Several of the people who live here assert this ghost is the ghost of a traveler that was murdered while driving through Martinez in the past.

The Wizard of Oz was witnessed
  in Alexander Park on a dark night attempting to grasp something.

An martian tourist from another planet materialized gazing at the water by Briones Dam late at night.

A gigantic jerboa was observed gazing at people in a Martinez residence through a window.

A gigantic warthog was noticed in a deserted place in close proximity to Martinez.

A military uniform striding around lacking a body in it was witnessed facing the witness in Angel Island State Park quite near the park headquarters. The arrival of the eye witness startled the ghost who then vanished.

Plato has regularly been made out yelling at the bystander to be off by the entrance to Golden Gate National Recreation Area.

The ghost of a civil war combatant is known to have been distinguished on numerous occasions walking by the side of a shady highway in close proximity to Martinez.

A massive lemur can frequently be witnessed posting a package at a Martinez post office.

A minotaur may be seen time and again slurping regular from
a pump at a fuel station in Martinez.

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Ghost Sightings From Martinez


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Ghost Sightings From Martinez



Doctor Rueprecht had invented a machine that transferred the birth pains from the mother to the father and he was going to try it out on one of his patients. Arthur's wife Gertrude was about to give birth so he decided to try the machine on them. He set the machine to 1/2, transferring half of the pain to the father to make it fair. Arthur didn't seem to be in any pain at all so the doctor went ahead and set it to full, transferring all the pain to the father. Arthur didn't even blink. The machine is even better than I had hoped thought the doctor.
The next day when the couple brought their newborn baby back home they found Arthur's best friend Delbert dead in the front yard.
Arthur Junior: - Would you punish me for some thing I didn't do?
His teacher: -No, of course not.
Arthur Junior: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
Arthur: -Why do church bells never send e-mails?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -They'd rather give each other a ring.
Mama Snail:
Ok kids, stop right here and wait at the side of the road for a while, there's a bus coming in three hours.
Why doesn't Arthur eat pickles?
- He can't get his heads into the jar.
Arthur had a new job on a cruise ship as an onboard magician, he had a nightly magic show to entertain the guests. At every show there was this clever but annoying kid in the audience who kept exposing the tricks. He would say things like ''the card's in his sleeve'', or ''the handkerchief is under the table cloth''. This made Arthur very angry but he put up with it since he wanted to keep his job on the ship.
One evening during the magic show the boat hit an uncharted underwater cliff and sank. Everyone on board drowned except Arthur and the annoying kid who both managed to climb up on an upside-down table from the ship that was floating around in the water.
They sat on the table for day and night, the kid didn't say a word, he just sat there quietly. Arthur didn't mind the silence at all. After 5 days the kid finally spoke.
- Alright alright, I give up, where did you hide the boat?.
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