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These are some lies we made up about Greenwood.
A giant dormouse materialized hurling boulders into Cottontail Lake at the stroke of midnight.
An alien traveler from deep space was observed covering a corpse by a sizeable boulder in James A Reed Memorial Wildlife Area at the stroke of midnight.
An alien from Jupiter was seen struggling out of a drain hole on a Greenwood road in the early morning hours.
A gargantuan dugong has often been observed howling at the watcher to beat it down near the water at Big Rock Bay.
An enormous seal has been said to have been witnessed on frequent occasions enjoying the panorama at Allendale Dam in the early morning hours.
An ET from another planet may regularly be observed in Alexander Creek flinging boulders.
A big bloodcurdling beast may be distinguished very frequently performing a melody on a harmonica in a Greenwood trailer.
The extraterrestrial mechanic of an unidentified flying object has every so often been distinguished in
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a Greenwood secondary school before sunrise walking the halls.
A gargantuan capybara is every now and then noticed in a building close to Greenwood.
A space man from Saturn has allegedly been noticed on one or two instances in a Greenwood area store, staggering the aisles.
A gargantuan vicuna may from time to time be seen smoking a pipe in the early morning hours before sunrise by a road sign in Greenwood.
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Ghost Sightings From Greenwood
Submit a lie about Greenwood, Missouri:
Other untruthful towns near Greenwood, Missouri:
Pleasant Hill, Missouri, 3 miles away
Lees Summit, Missouri, 6 miles away
Blue Springs, Missouri, 9 miles away
Lone Jack, Missouri, 9 miles away
Strasburg, Missouri, 10 miles away
Grain Valley, Missouri, 10 miles away
Raymore, Missouri, 11 miles away
Kingsville, Missouri, 12 miles away
Oak Grove, Missouri, 13 miles away
Independence, Missouri, 13 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Greenwood
Arthur's mama's so holy; she thinks nuns dress too provocatively.
Grandma, Grandma, wake up!! You forgot to take your sleeping pills.
Hey Arthur, long time no see. Wow I see you've opened a fruit stand, that's great. What are those ones?
- Yeah those are Fuji Apples Delbert.
- Let me have 8 of those, and I need them individually wrapped. And what about those Arthur?
- Ah those are Grapefruits Delbert.
- Oh Ok, let me have 6 of those individually wrapped. And what about those?
- Yeah those are blueberries Delbert, but they're not for sale.
Why doesn't Arthur eat pickles?
- He can't get his heads into the jar.
Pay attention students, if this chemistry experiment fails the whole building will blow up and fly to high heavens in a cloud of black smoke. Now gather around so you can all follow along.
Arthur had a new job as a TV repairman. One day he arrived at the very old couples house to fix their broken TV.
- Oh how nice of you to come so fast, said the old lady. The TV is fine though, we realized we were wearing each other's glasses.
How did Arthur get killed ironing curtains ?
- He fell out of the window.
Arthur the Cannibal was having lunch with his friend Delbert the Cannibal.
- Delbert, I don't like my wife.
- At least eat your vegetables Arthur.
Arthur, why did you tip the parking attendant $100, are you out of your mind?
- But Delbert, look at this beautiful brand new car he upgraded me to.
Arthur came home from work. He was too tired so he went straight to bed. He saw that his wife was sound asleep, so he tried to be very quiet. He tucked himself in next to her. He looked at the end of the bed; he saw some feet sticking out from under the blanket, so he started counting them. 1..2..3..4..5..6. ''Oh. no something's wrong. There are two of us, so there should be four feet'', he told himself quietly, not wanting to wake his wife up. He stood up and walked to the end of the bed and started counting again. 1...2...3...4. Okay! There you go! He then went back to bed.
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