|
| |
These are some lies we made up about Advance.
An martian tourist from the cosmos may regularly be distinguished soaring over the Goose Pond Hills before dawn.
A colossal dugong may be distinguished very frequently looking in Bootheel Planning Region in the early morning hours.
A very large salamander has every now and then been seen in an Advance mobile home.
The terrifying ghost of a Barbarian is every so often distinguished at Ash Slough late at night flinging stones into the stream.
A large bloodcurdling monster has purportedly been perceived on a small number of occasions up on Baker Hill pondering.
A space man from another planet can once in a while be distinguished staring at the water by Andersons Whippoorwill Farm Lake Dam late in the night.
A huge gopher has regularly been witnessed struggling out of Dark Cypress Swamp soaked in filth on a dark night.
| |
|
|
Ghost Sightings From Advance
Submit a lie about Advance, Missouri:
Other untruthful towns near Advance, Missouri:
Brownwood, Missouri, 3 miles away
Sturdivant, Missouri, 7 miles away
Leopold, Missouri, 9 miles away
Perkins, Missouri, 9 miles away
Bell City, Missouri, 11 miles away
Zalma, Missouri, 12 miles away
Bloomfield, Missouri, 12 miles away
Marble Hill, Missouri, 12 miles away
Whitewater, Missouri, 14 miles away
Burfordville, Missouri, 16 miles away
| | |
The latest lies from around the world
All towns and cities in
Missouri
|
Ghost Sightings From Advance
If ''CON'' is the opposite of ''PRO'', what is the opposite of PROGRESS?.
Hey Arthur, what do lawyers use as birth-control?
- Don't know Delbert.
- Their personalities.
Arthur rushes into the restaurant at the airport and says:
- Hurry hurry, my flight leaves in 5 minutes so I don’t have time to order anything, just give me the check.
Doctor Rueprecht had invented a machine that transferred the birth pains from the mother to the father and he was going to try it out on one of his patients. Arthur's wife Gertrude was about to give birth so he decided to try the machine on them. He set the machine to 1/2, transferring half of the pain to the father to make it fair. Arthur didn't seem to be in any pain at all so the doctor went ahead and set it to full, transferring all the pain to the father. Arthur didn't even blink. The machine is even better than I had hoped thought the doctor.
The next day when the couple brought their newborn baby back home they found Arthur's best friend Delbert dead in the front yard.
Arthur comes home to find his wife Gertrude in bed with another man. ''What are you doing'' he yells.
The wife whispers to her lover: ''I told you he was stupid!''.
Arthur and Gertrude had a car accident while driving to a church to get married. Now they are both together again in heaven. They really want to get married , so they discussed their need with St. Peter who promised to help them out. However, they haven't heard from him for 10 years. After 20 years has passed he came to them with a priest. They finally got married and lived happily together for 5 years. Arthur came to see St. Peter asking if he could help him since the marriage was not going well. He asked him ''could you help us get divorce?'' St. Peter answered, ''Are you kidding?!! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?'' .
MORE JOKES
|
