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These are some lies we made up about Altoona.
Marco Polo came into view looking bloodcurdling by Big Cedar Creek.
A colossal lemur was observed on the peak of Buff Mound at midnight examining the vista.
The ghost of a lady with half her head not there became visible gazing irritably at the bystander at Dun Dam in the early morning hours before sunrise. When perceived the ghost came close to the viewer who then escaped.
A space alien from outer space was made out in an apartment in Altoona.
The extraterrestrial technician of an extraterrestrial spaceship was seen tossing bricks at Elk City State Park.
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Ghost Sightings From Altoona
Submit a lie about Altoona, Kansas:
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Ghost Sightings From Altoona
Hilda: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Gertrude: Yes I am; I married the wrong woman.
Arthur: -What are Brazilian fans called ?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Brazil nuts !.
Arthur gets pulled over for speeding.
Cop: - License and registration please. You were driving 50 in a 35 sir.
Arthur: - No officer, I'm pretty sure I was only driving maybe 40.
Arthur's wife Gertrude: - Officer, officer, I aw the speedometer, he was driving 53 exactly.
Cop: - I appreciate your honesty, ok 53 it is then. Also sir, are you aware that your tail light is out?
Arthur: - Oh really, I had no clue, thank you for telling me officer I'll have that fixed right away.
Gertrude: - Officer, officer, that light has been out for a month, I've been bugging him to fix it every single day.
Arthur turns to his wife and screams: - SHUT UP YOU @#$%&@ IDIOT!
Cop: - Mam, does he always talk that way to you?
- Only when he's drunk.
Gertrude was making breakfast for Arthur and the kids in the morning when Arthur rushes into the kitchen acting hysterically.
MORE EGGS!! MORE EGGS!! You need to use more eggs. MORE BUTTER TOO!! And MORE SALT!! NO NOT THAT MUCH!! NO NOT THERE OVER THERE!! Why don't you listen to me when you're cooking?? I said MORE EGGS!! no that's too many AAAHHH! TURN THEM OVER NOW!! HURRY! I SAID NOW!! More salt there, no not there I said THERE!! AAAAHH!! YOU'RE RUINING BREAKFAST!!
- Calm down Arthur, what's gotten into you?
- Oh nothing dear, I just wanted you to know how I feel when I'm driving.
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