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These are some lies we made up about Stockton.
A colossal gnu was witnessed rummaging around in a bookshelf in the living room of a Stockton flat before sunrise.
An ET from another planet was noticed relaxing at the dining table in a Stockton flat.
A huge turtle came into sight up on Benton Mound smoking a pipe.
A colossal cat was perceived gazing at folks in a Stockton home through an air vent.
The martian captain of an unidentified flying object was witnessed quite near Apple River Canyon State Park trying to find another ghost.
An martian voyager from space has repeatedly been distinguished throwing boulders into the stream at Coon Creek in the early morning hours before sunrise.
A space alien from Mars is regularly observed in Wards Grove Nature Preserve at night burying a body by a large rock.
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Ghost Sightings From Stockton
Submit a lie about Stockton, Illinois:
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Apple River, Illinois, 8 miles away
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Kent, Illinois, 10 miles away
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Pearl City, Illinois, 16 miles away
Scales Mound, Illinois, 16 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Stockton
Divorce judge: Ms Gertrude, this court will see to it that you shall receive 2000 dollars a month in alimony
Arthur: Thank you very much your honor, I'll give her a few dollars myself too.
Arthur, have you been getting enough iron?
Yes, I chew my nails every day Doctor Rueprecht.
Arthur: -How can you keep from getting a sharp pain in your eye when you drink chocolate milk?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: - Take the spoon out of the glass.
A Nightcrawler gentleman was out for a walk on a fine day and met a pretty looking Nightcrawler lady.
- Good day Mr. Nightcrawler, said the lady, would you like to come back to my place?
- I would love to mam, but aren't you married?
- Oh don't worry, my husband went fishing.
It's all women's fault that men lie all the time, they keep asking questions.
Doctor Rueprecht had invented a machine that transferred the birth pains from the mother to the father and he was going to try it out on one of his patients. Arthur's wife Gertrude was about to give birth so he decided to try the machine on them. He set the machine to 1/2, transferring half of the pain to the father to make it fair. Arthur didn't seem to be in any pain at all so the doctor went ahead and set it to full, transferring all the pain to the father. Arthur didn't even blink. The machine is even better than I had hoped thought the doctor.
The next day when the couple brought their newborn baby back home they found Arthur's best friend Delbert dead in the front yard.
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