Andover, Illinois Lies


These are some lies we made up about Andover.

A gentleman with an axe in his head was observed staring irritably at the watcher in the middle of Hillery Creek. Many folks nearby have had similar sightings involving a very similar spirit.

A gigantic platypus was spotted in Lynn Grove at the stroke of midnight hunting with a bow and arrow.

One of the three Little Pigs has regularly been made out in College Square Park on a dark night flinging chunks of concrete.

A space man from planet Neptune is repeatedly made out at Lynnwood Lake Dam in the early morning hours taking pleasure in the scenery.

A gentleman's body with the head of a pig has been said to have been witnessed on several occasions at the shore at Lake Lynnwood burning a box. One thing is for sure, this is an unpleasant ghost that you do not want to meet in the early morning hours.

 

Ghost Sightings From Andover



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Other untruthful towns near Andover, Illinois:

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Colona, Illinois, 10 miles away

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Silvis, Illinois, 14 miles away

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Sherrard, Illinois, 14 miles away

      


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Ghost Sightings From Andover



Hey Arthur, do did you go waterskiing on your vacation like you had planned?
- No Delbert, I couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Arthur: -Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -No body.
Arthur the Cannibal was having lunch with his friend Delbert the Cannibal.
- Delbert, I don't like my wife.
- At least eat your vegetables Arthur.
Arthur was lying in bed gazing at the stars, and then he thought to himself, what the hell happened to the ceiling.
Mommy, is it true that there are cannibals in Florida?
- Of course not, who told you such a thing?
- The teacher at school says many people in Florida live off of tourists.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Arthur had been a car mechanic ever since he dropped out of high school, he died young at the age of 34. When he met Saint Peter at the gates of heaven he asked:
- Saint Peter, why did you let me die so young?
- Well now Arthur, based on how many hours you've been charging your customers according to your accounting records you are 95 years old.
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Sit!
Sit who?
Sit down and be quiet !.
Arthur: -What will seven days of dieting do to you?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -They make one weak (week).
Why on earth did you shave your neck Arthur?
-Oops, must have put my shirt on backwards.
Arthur the blacksmith was telling his apprentice Delbert what to do.
- Ok, listen carefully and do as I say. I will take the iron out of the fire and place it on the anvil. You keep you eyes on my head, when I nod you hit it as hard as you can with the giant hammer. Those were Arthur's last words.
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