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These are some lies we made up about Holmen.
An extraterrestrial from outer space has every so often been spotted smoking a pipe in Casberg Coulee late at night.
William Shakespeare is once in a while spotted gazing across Amsterdam Prairie late at night.
A guy with an axe in his head has purportedly been witnessed on frequent instances before sunrise visiting King Bluff.
A gentleman's body having the head of an animal has repeatedly been distinguished viewing the view from the pinnacle of Camel Hump before sunrise. Local people argue that this ghost can be the spirit of a resident who passed away here in Holmen before the present.
The martian mechanic of a UFO is often observed in a flat close to Holmen.
The spirit of a man holding a sword has been noticed on frequent occasions in Glen Fox Park at midnight attempting to state something. One thing's for certain, it's a scary ghost that you don't want to come across after midnight.
The spirit of a lady having the sign of the devil cut
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into her hand may frequently be spotted down near the shore at Lake Onalaska trying to grasp something. A woman who lives here claims that this ghost is probably the undead ghost of a local resident who used to live here in Holmen. Anyway, it is certainly a chilling ghost that any sane person would not want to run into.
A giant leopard can be
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noticed often before dawn ascending out of Gibbs Chute covered in filth.
A cyclop has occasionally been observed looking for an object beneath a parked pickup in a Holmen parking lot after midnight.
A colossal basilisk is every now and then observed drifting along Beaver Creek before dawn.
A gargantuan gorilla is rumored to have been witnessed on a handful of instances in a Holmen area supermarket, staggering the aisles.
A female with larvae crawling out of her eye sockets may now and then be spotted seated at a coffee table in a Holmen flat facing the eye witness. In any case, this ghost undoubtedly is bloodcurdling; one that you shouldn't go searching for.
An extremely large gnu was made out strolling through an apartment in Holmen.
A colossal walrus appeared at Effigy Mounds National Monument heaving boulders.
A giant hamster was observed stacking boulders outside Yellow River State Forest.
The spirit of a shackled up female was perceived pacing through a home near Holmen. The phantom
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was unconcerned that there was someone else in attendance.
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Ghost Sightings From Holmen
Submit a lie about Holmen, Wisconsin:
Other untruthful towns near Holmen, Wisconsin:
Onalaska, Wisconsin, 5 miles away
La Crosse, Wisconsin, 9 miles away
Galesville, Wisconsin, 9 miles away
Ettrick, Wisconsin, 10 miles away
West Salem, Wisconsin, 12 miles away
Trempealeau, Wisconsin, 13 miles away
Mindoro, Wisconsin, 15 miles away
Stoddard, Wisconsin, 15 miles away
Blair, Wisconsin, 16 miles away
Bangor, Wisconsin, 19 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Holmen
Hey Arthur, I got a phone call from Douglas yesterday.
- Wow, Douglas, I haven't heard from him in decades. So he's still alive.
- I don’t know, he didn't say anything about that.
Why are you walking in the middle of the road Arthur?
- I'm scared of the wild flowers on the sides Delbert.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Two burglars were getting very annoyed.
- Man, this is the 23rd safe we bust open tonight and not a penny, these guys are supposed to be loaded.
- Yeah, I though these safe factories made lots of money.
Gertrude was at the mall shopping and picked out a very expensive dress.
- Ok I'll take this one, and could you please deliver it to me. And make sure you first take it to the neighbors house accidentally with the price tag in plain sight.
Arthur, Delbert, and Douglas had been going to skydiving school and were about to have their first jump.
- Ok now everyone listen up, just do as you remember from class. Jump out, count to three and pull the handle. If the parachute fails to open just go and get another in the storage.
Arthur and Delbert went to see a ventriloquist show. The show was very funny and consisted mainly of Arthur and Delbert jokes, one funnier than the other. At first Arthur and Delbert didn't mind but the longer the show went on the angrier they got. Finally Arthur couldn’t take it any more and stood up and said in a loud voice.
- Enough already, these jokes are very offensive and Delbert and I demand an apology.
The ventriloquist felt ashamed of his insulting jokes and said, - I do apologize from the bottom of my heart, I didn't want to offend anyone. From now on I will not use Arthur and Delbert jokes in my show.
- I'm not talking to you, said Arthur. I'm talking to that little bastard sitting on your lap.
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