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These are some lies we made up about Bernard.
The martian pilot of a UFO is sometimes perceived in Buncombe Creek flashing a lamp.
A gigantic zebu has been observed on a handful of occasions in Fillmore Recreation Area after midnight dragging a cadaver over rocks.
An extraterrestrial from planet Venus may now and then be noticed playing a piece of music on a flute in a Bernard building.
A space invader from deep space was spotted at Schwenker Lake Dam before sunrise enjoying the surroundings.
A gigantic coyote appeared gazing irritably at the bystander in Whitewater Canyon before dawn.
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Ghost Sightings From Bernard
Submit a lie about Bernard, Iowa:
Other untruthful towns near Bernard, Iowa:
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Durango, Iowa, 10 miles away
Cascade, Iowa, 12 miles away
La Motte, Iowa, 12 miles away
Farley, Iowa, 13 miles away
Baldwin, Iowa, 13 miles away
Sherrill, Iowa, 14 miles away
Dubuque, Iowa, 15 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Bernard
Arthur: -What do you have if your head is hot, your feet are cold, and you see spots in front of your eyes?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: - You probably have a polka-dotted sock over your head.
Hello, this is Arthur in room 234, I would like to order a wake-up call.
- Ok sir, when?
- Right now please. Thanks Bye. . Arthur hangs up.
Arthur and his wife Gertrude was out for a romantic walk.
- Watch out Gertrude, dog poop, don’t step in it.
- Nah, that doesn’t look like dog poop. But I wonder what it could be. I'm curious, could you smell it dear and tell me what it is.
- Hmm, smells like dog poop to me.
- I'm not convinced dear, could you please touch it.
- Ok dear, for you anything. ... Well it does feel like dog poop
- I'm still not quite convinced dear, could you please taste it and tell me what it is.
- No Gertrude, can we just leave this thing behind us and move on not knowing what it is please?
- No Arthur, I really want to know what that is, now take a big bit out of it and tell me what it is.
Ok, ok, for you my dear anything...
Arthur takes a bite, chews it well.
-Aaahhh!!! &*$#@#$%!!! This is disgusting !!! It's definitely dog poop, no doubt about it.
- Lucky we didn't step in it then Arthur.
Arthur was going about his days with his wife Gertrude when he noticed that she wasn't responding to him anymore when he called her. He had to get right up next to her for her to hear him. Concerned, he went to Doctor Rueprecht and asked him if it could be that his wife was going deaf. The doctor agreed it was a possibility and suggested he go home and try calling her from different distances to see how bad it actually was. So Arthur went home and while his wife was making dinner, he called to her from the living room - ''Gertrude, what are we having for dinner?'' No answer. He stepped a few feet closer and called again - ''Gertrude! What are we having for dinner?'' Again, no answer. He was getting worried. He walked to the kitchen door and again asked, ''Gertrude! What are we having for dinner?!'' Again! No answer. Upset and nervous, Arthur stepped up right next to her and again posed the question - ''Gertrude, what are we having for dinner?'' She turned around and said, ''For the LAST TIME - MEATLOAF!!'' .
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