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These are some lies we made up about Advance.
A big scary beast has repeatedly been made out trying to find a box next to a parked Chevy in an Advance parking lot before sunrise.
A lady with a bottle-green face is regularly seen bass fishing from the water's edge of Norman Lake after midnight. Folks here assert that this ghost is the undead soul of a long departed Advance local resident.
A gargantuan gopher has allegedly been spotted on numerous occasions dragging a corpse from the cold water of Grassy Branch at night.
A space man may be witnessed frequently glancing across South Fork Prairie very late at night.
A gentleman with a machete in his head has every now and then been distinguished in an Advance area auto part store, striding the aisles. In any case, this spirit certainly is chilling; one that you don't want to bump into late in the night.
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Ghost Sightings From Advance
Submit a lie about Advance, Indiana:
Other untruthful towns near Advance, Indiana:
Jamestown, Indiana, 2 miles away
Thorntown, Indiana, 7 miles away
Lizton, Indiana, 8 miles away
North Salem, Indiana, 8 miles away
Colfax, Indiana, 11 miles away
Lebanon, Indiana, 11 miles away
Pittsboro, Indiana, 12 miles away
Danville, Indiana, 13 miles away
Avon, Indiana, 14 miles away
Roachdale, Indiana, 14 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Advance
Why do sharks never attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
The police pulled a car over, Arthur was sitting in the backseat.
- Arthur, you know better than to let an aardvark drive your car!
- Oh, this is not my car officer, I'm just hitch-hiking.
Arthur: -How can you tell if a mummy has a cold?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -He starts coffin.
Farmer Arthur's mother-in-law had been kicked to death by the farmer's mule.
A big crowd showed up for the funeral. She must have been very popular said the minister.
They're all here to buy the Mule said Arthur.
They had just started building the new local high-school and the construction manager was checking around the construction site. He noticed a man working there he had never seen before, which of course was nothing new since they hired new workers all the time. The thing that was odd about this one was that the way he was dressed.
- Who's that new guy over there mixing concrete, asked the manager, and why on earth is he wearing a suit??
- Oh him, said the foreman, that's Arthur, he's one of the teachers. He was here for the corner-stone ceremony and when he found out how much construction workers get paid he decided to stay.
Arthur and his wife Gertrude was out for a romantic walk.
- Watch out Gertrude, dog poop, don’t step in it.
- Nah, that doesn’t look like dog poop. But I wonder what it could be. I'm curious, could you smell it dear and tell me what it is.
- Hmm, smells like dog poop to me.
- I'm not convinced dear, could you please touch it.
- Ok dear, for you anything. ... Well it does feel like dog poop
- I'm still not quite convinced dear, could you please taste it and tell me what it is.
- No Gertrude, can we just leave this thing behind us and move on not knowing what it is please?
- No Arthur, I really want to know what that is, now take a big bit out of it and tell me what it is.
Ok, ok, for you my dear anything...
Arthur takes a bite, chews it well.
-Aaahhh!!! &*$#@#$%!!! This is disgusting !!! It's definitely dog poop, no doubt about it.
- Lucky we didn't step in it then Arthur.
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