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These are some lies we made up about Newport.

A massive mongoose has regularly been made out trying on a shirt in a Newport mobile home.

The martian navigator of a UFO is often perceived struggling up from a storm drain on a Newport lane around midnight.

A big bloodcurdling dragon is known to have been distinguished on one or two occasions downing water from Burnett Spring around midnight.
A massive buffalo can frequently be witnessed poking around in mailboxes before dawn in Newport.

An ET from planet Mercury may be witnessed very often calling names of people by Irish Bottoms.

A gigantic vicuna is every so often seen heaving stones into the stream at Allen Branch at midnight.

A space invader from outer space has been witnessed on a few occasions playing a melody on a xylophone in a Newport building.

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