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Bradenton Beach, Florida Lies | |
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These are some lies we made up about Bradenton Beach.
The ghost of an elderly man with a big gray beard is known to have been witnessed on many occasions looking irritably at the bystander next to the shore at Manatee County Beach. A woman who lives here asserts that this ghost may very well be a recognized yesteryear resident of Bradenton Beach.
The extraterrestrial pilot of an extraterrestrial spacecraft may now and then be distinguished scrutinizing The Bulkhead in detail at midnight.
An alien voyager from the cosmos was made out going bananas down next to the water at Bean Point.
A giant kitten showed up gazing at an old man slumbering on a mattress in an apartment in Bradenton Beach.
A massive dromedary was observed in a grocery store in the Bradenton Beach area.
The Abominable Snowman came into view around midnight drifting by on Manatee River.
An alien from planet Jupiter was observed in De Soto National Memorial late in the night dining on a tomato.
A space man
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from another world was witnessed trying on a shirt in a Bradenton Beach trailer.
A gargantuan basilisk is frequently seen climbing out of Bishops Bayou soaked in filth before sunrise.
A very large snake is known to have been observed on a small number of occasions crawling out of a storm drain on a Bradenton Beach lane before sunrise.
An
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alien may repeatedly be spotted clutching a cranium up on the peak of Portavant Indian Mound.
The martian mechanic of a flying saucer may be seen over and over again poking around in mailboxes very late at night in Bradenton Beach.
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Ghost Sightings From Bradenton Beach
Submit a lie about Bradenton Beach, Florida:
Other untruthful towns near Bradenton Beach, Florida:
Anna Maria, Florida, 2 miles away
Cortez, Florida, 3 miles away
Bradenton, Florida, 5 miles away
Longboat Key, Florida, 6 miles away
Terra Ceia, Florida, 10 miles away
Palmetto, Florida, 12 miles away
Ellenton, Florida, 15 miles away
Saint Petersburg, Florida, 17 miles away
Parrish, Florida, 20 miles away
Pinellas Park, Florida, 20 miles away
Sarasota, Florida, 20 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Bradenton Beach
Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working properly when you open windows.
Arthur, do you know what the difference between a horse's rear and a mailbox is?
- No Delbert I don't.
- Well, I'm sure as hell not sending you to mail any letters.
Why is a fat girl like a moped?
They're both fun until your friends see you.
Hilda: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Gertrude: Yes I am; I married the wrong woman.
Hey Arthur, long time no see. Oh my god, what happened to you, you've lost your hand. How did that happen?
Well Delbert, no biggie really, tiger bit it off.
Oh ok, what are you looking for here on the street anyway Arthur?
Well, Delbert, I'm looking for a second hand store.
Arthur, Delbert, and Douglas had been going to skydiving school and were about to have their first jump.
- Ok now everyone listen up, just do as you remember from class. Jump out, count to three and pull the handle. If the parachute fails to open just go and get another in the storage.
Arthur: -What are Brazilian fans called ?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Brazil nuts !.
Time flies. But you can't, they're too fast.
It's all women's fault that men lie all the time, they keep asking questions.
Arthur and Delbert were competing about who could lean out the furthest out of a train window. Suddenly Delbert won.
The town reverend had called together a special town meeting to expose the wickedness of the local casino.
- Who's the richest man in this town? Well let me tell you, it's the casino owner. Who's got the nicest car? the casino owner. Who's got the biggest house? Again the casino owner! And who's paying for all of this? You people are, by spending your hard earned cash in his casino! You people must all stop gambling at the casino or else you will just get poorer and poorer.
The speech made a great impression on Arthur, the local bookstore owner. The next day he met the reverend in front of his book store.
- Reverend, I want to thank you for opening my eyes and letting me see the true nature of gambling and how it robs good people of their livelyhood.
- Well I'm very glad to hear that, I take it you have given up gambling then?
- Hell no, said Arthur, I'm converting my bookstore into a casino.
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