Astatula, Florida Lies


These are some lies we made up about Astatula.

The phantom of a young-looking Indian fighter has regularly been noticed looking at the water by Lake Apopka Lock and Dam on a dark night.

An extraterrestrial from another world is known to have been perceived on frequent occasions swallowing water from Bear Spring late at night.

A very large camel can frequently be made out on the top of Sugarloaf Mountain on a dark night watching the view.

The ghost of a sturdy lumberjack holding a large axe can be observed often in a flat in Astatula.

A bloodcurdling skeleton has occasionally been seen fishing from the water's edge of Lake Beauclair at midnight.

 

Ghost Sightings From Astatula



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Ghost Sightings From Astatula



Arthur, why are your eyes closed?
- Well Delbert, I was in the middle of a blink and I got bored.
Two burglars were getting very annoyed.
- Man, this is the 23rd safe we bust open tonight and not a penny, these guys are supposed to be loaded.
- Yeah, I though these safe factories made lots of money.
A street bum came up to Arthur in the supermarket parking lot.
- Hey man, you got 5 bucks for food?
- Sorry I'm all out of change but I ust bought some beer, I'll give you a bottle if you want.
- Thanks man, I appreciate it but I don't drink.
- Oh, ok, well how about a smoke?
- Nah, I don't smoke either.
- Oh, ok well, I'll tell you what I'll do, I'm going out to the race track tomorrow and I got a tip, I'll put 10 bucks on the horse in your name.
- That's really kind of you sir but I don't gamble.
- No kidding, ok come home with me then, my wife's making dinner right now.
- I'd love that sir.
After geting home Arthur says:
- Gertrude honey I'm home, look I brought a guest for dinner. I want you to see what happens to people who don't drink, smoke or gamble.
Arthur: -What will seven days of dieting do to you?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -They make one weak (week).
Hey Arthur, I got a phone call from Douglas yesterday.
- Wow, Douglas, I haven't heard from him in decades. So he's still alive.
- I don’t know, he didn't say anything about that.
Why do women use make-up and perfume?
- Because they're ugly and they smell bad.
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