Fitzpatrick, Alabama Lies


These are some lies we made up about Fitzpatrick.

An extraterrestrial has repeatedly been noticed hurling boulders into the water at Colman Creek around midnight.

The spirit of a young-looking female having on a bloody wedding gown is frequently witnessed staring at the water by Barnett Pond Dam very late at night. Well, it's a chilling ghost that you shouldn't go looking for.

A mermaid has allegedly been distinguished on frequent instances in a Fitzpatrick mobile home.

A gigantic koodoo may often be seen staggering next to a deserted highway in the vicinity of Fitzpatrick.

The ghost of an eight foot tall massive guy may be observed very often coming into sight in a restroom mirror.

 

Ghost Sightings From Fitzpatrick



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Ghost Sightings From Fitzpatrick



Arthur: -What are Brazilian fans called ?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Brazil nuts !.
Hey Delbert, if you can guess exactly how many oranges are in this bag you can have all five of them.
Arthur was at the gates of heaven. Saint Peter asked him what good deeds he had done in his life.
- Well that was that one time I confronted a gang of bikers that was harassing an old lady. I spat their leader in the face and pushed over his mototcycle.
- Wow ! said Saint Peter, that's really brave and noble, when did do that?
- Well, about two minutes ago. .
Arthur had gone down to the corner bar for a couple of drinks, but it ended up being a bit more than that. At closing time he had had so much to drink that he couldn't even walk to the door.
He crawled out the door and sat down on the sidewalk outside thinking that if he waits a bit he'll be sober enough to walk home.
He waited about an hour and tried to get up but couldn't.
Oh well, he thought, I can't sit here all night, I'll just crawl home.
It took him a while to crawl home but he finally made it. He crawled into his house and up the stairs and into bed and fell asleep.
The next morning Arthur's wife Gertrude woke him up and said.
- Honey, they called from the corner bar and want to know when you're going to pick up your wheelchair.
If ''CON'' is the opposite of ''PRO'', what is the opposite of PROGRESS?.
A car had crashed into a tree and Arthur and Delbert were found drunk at the scene, they were arrested at the crash site by the police. Later in court the judge asked:
- Which one of you two were driving the car?
-Your honor, we were both in the back seat singing.
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