Austinville, Virginia Lies


These are some lies we made up about Austinville.

Ludwig van Beethoven has allegedly been noticed on several occasions in an Austinville area hardware store, walking the aisles.

The ghost of an engine driver may regularly be witnessed in Shot Tower State Historical Park late in the night hauling a body across the dirt. Whatever folks state, this ghost undeniably is menacing; one that any commonsensical person would not want to encounter.

A huge guanaco may be made out time and again relaxing at a coffee table in an Austinville mobile home shouting at the eye witness to stay away.

A space alien from Mars has sometimes been spotted heaving pebbles in Chiswell Hole at the stroke of midnight.

A woman with no head is occasionally noticed hollowing out a cavity at Buck Dam in the early morning hours. One thing's for certain, this is an unlikable ghost that should be stayed away from.

 

Ghost Sightings From Austinville



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Ghost Sightings From Austinville



If ''CON'' is the opposite of ''PRO'', what is the opposite of PROGRESS?.
Delbert and Arthur were performing a strange ritual in the city park. Delbert was digging small holes in the ground with a spade, and Arthur was walking behind him filling the holes with a spade.
- What exacly are you guys doing? Asked a man who was passing by.
- We're planting flowers, said Arthur, usually Douglas is here too, but he's ill today, he's the one that puts the seed in the ground.
Have you really lived in this house your whole life?
- Not yet.
Arthur was waiting for his turn in the psychologists waiting room.
- Next! Said the psychologist loudly from his office as a patient walked out his door.
Arthur went into the psychologists office and said:
- Nobody ever notices me, it's like I'm not even there. It all started in my childhood when....
- NEXT!, said the psychologist again.
Monday morning Arthur started his new job as a lumberjack and his boss was instructing him.
- With this chainsaw you can cut down 50 trees a day.
On Friday afternoon his boss went over to him to see how many trees he had cut down in his first week.
- Well sir, five so far but I'm starting to get the hang of it.
- Five!!, what the hell is wrong with you? the boss yelled and picked up the chainsaw to show him how to cut down a tree.
He started the saw and Arthur jumped up in the air.
- Aaahhh! What is that noise?.
Gertrude was making breakfast for Arthur and the kids in the morning when Arthur rushes into the kitchen acting hysterically.
MORE EGGS!! MORE EGGS!! You need to use more eggs. MORE BUTTER TOO!! And MORE SALT!! NO NOT THAT MUCH!! NO NOT THERE OVER THERE!! Why don't you listen to me when you're cooking?? I said MORE EGGS!! no that's too many AAAHHH! TURN THEM OVER NOW!! HURRY! I SAID NOW!! More salt there, no not there I said THERE!! AAAAHH!! YOU'RE RUINING BREAKFAST!!
- Calm down Arthur, what's gotten into you?
- Oh nothing dear, I just wanted you to know how I feel when I'm driving.
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