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These are some lies we made up about Alfred.
An ET from the cosmos was noticed sitting at a table in an Alfred residence gazing furiously at the eye witness.
A space invader materialized striding through a mobile home in Alfred.
Archimedes was witnessed in Merrill Field at midnight hiding a cadaver by a sizeable rock.
A huge dromedary became visible strolling through a building right next door to Alfred.
The spirit of an aged cleaning lady was seen watching the vista from the apex of Ben Socker Hill at midnight. The watcher got freaked out and fled. In any case, it certainly is a terrifying ghost that you do not want to run into late at night.
The alien crew member of a UFO was seen drifting by on Karr Valley Creek late in the night.
The ghost of a youthful female clothed as a maid has repeatedly been witnessed at a public phone in Alfred making a telephone call.
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Ghost Sightings From Alfred
Submit a lie about Alfred, New York:
Other untruthful towns near Alfred, New York:
Alfred Station, New York, 0 miles away
Almond, New York, 5 miles away
Andover, New York, 5 miles away
Hornell, New York, 10 miles away
Canaseraga, New York, 10 miles away
Greenwood, New York, 11 miles away
Whitesville, New York, 11 miles away
Arkport, New York, 12 miles away
Rexville, New York, 12 miles away
Swain, New York, 13 miles away
Wellsville, New York, 13 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Alfred
Why are there so many people called John?
- Because it's a common name.
Hello, this is Arthur in room 234, I would like to order a wake-up call.
- Ok sir, when?
- Right now please. Thanks Bye. . Arthur hangs up.
Arthur, Delbert, and Douglas had been going to skydiving school and were about to have their first jump.
- Ok now everyone listen up, just do as you remember from class. Jump out, count to three and pull the handle. If the parachute fails to open just go and get another in the storage.
Arthur had been a car mechanic ever since he dropped out of high school, he died young at the age of 34. When he met Saint Peter at the gates of heaven he asked:
- Saint Peter, why did you let me die so young?
- Well now Arthur, based on how many hours you've been charging your customers according to your accounting records you are 95 years old.
How do you confuse an idiot?
- Don't know?
- Four. . . . Are you confused?.
Arthur's mama's so poor she chases the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Gertrude was making breakfast for Arthur and the kids in the morning when Arthur rushes into the kitchen acting hysterically.
MORE EGGS!! MORE EGGS!! You need to use more eggs. MORE BUTTER TOO!! And MORE SALT!! NO NOT THAT MUCH!! NO NOT THERE OVER THERE!! Why don't you listen to me when you're cooking?? I said MORE EGGS!! no that's too many AAAHHH! TURN THEM OVER NOW!! HURRY! I SAID NOW!! More salt there, no not there I said THERE!! AAAAHH!! YOU'RE RUINING BREAKFAST!!
- Calm down Arthur, what's gotten into you?
- Oh nothing dear, I just wanted you to know how I feel when I'm driving.
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