Alden, New York Lies


These are some lies we made up about Alden.

A space invader from Mars has now and then been noticed at Durkee Creek in the early morning hours before sunrise heaving bricks into the stream.

An alien from another solar system is every so often noticed trying to hide a dead body in Cedar Swamp after midnight.

The Ugly Duckling has been perceived on numerous instances on the pinnacle of East Hill in the early morning hours before sunrise examining the landscape.

A woman with larvae crawling out of her ears can now and then be observed dragging a body through some bushes in Elma Centennial Park at night. One of the local residents confidently asserts that this ghost is the tormented spirit of a long departed Alden local resident.

The ghost of a woman with a dagger in her head was observed resting at the dining table in an Alden trailer flickering a kerosene lamp. The ghost acknowledged the presence of the onlooker. Some of those who live here argue this phantom is the phantom of a visitor that
 
    was murdered while driving through Alden in the past. No matter what folks state, it without a doubt is a chilling ghost that you don't want to meet around midnight.

The ghost of a tied up lady came into sight strolling through an apartment in Alden. The spirit was swallowed by the night after being perceived. It's been claimed that this precise
  ghost is that of a local resident who resided here in Alden some decades ago. One thing is for sure, this is an unfriendly ghost that any sane person wouldn't wish to encounter.

A huge coyote was observed traveling on a pony alongside a highway near Alden.

A lady having the head of a leprechaun was spotted striding through an apartment near Alden. Panicked by the onlookers the ghost withdrew into the night. If you listen to the local residents, this ghost gets pleasure from frightening foolhardy folks who come searching for ghosts in Alden. In any case, it's a frightening phantom that you shouldn't go searching for.

A huge puma was perceived at a coin operated phone in Alden talking on the phone.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart has regularly been witnessed looking chilling in the middle of a desolate road outside Alden very late at night.

The ghost of a guy having half his head lost is regularly observed standing by a wild road near Alden.

A beheaded lady has allegedly been witnessed on a handful of instances
in Beaver Island State Park at the park headquarters yelling at the bystander to stay away.

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Ghost Sightings From Alden


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Ghost Sightings From Alden



Arthur: -What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: - A mosquito can fly but a fly cant mosquito.
Aaahh Doctor Rueprecht, I'm in great pain, please help me, my stomach hurts so bad.
- Ok Arthur, what did you have for lunch?
- Oysters doctor.
- Well it's pretty easy to tell if they're bad when you open them.
- Open them??.
Two grains of sand were laying on the beach, one said:
- I think we're surrounded.
Why do idiots carry car doors around in the desert?
- So they can roll down the window when it gets hot.
Arthur gets pulled over for speeding.
Cop: - License and registration please. You were driving 50 in a 35 sir.
Arthur: - No officer, I'm pretty sure I was only driving maybe 40.
Arthur's wife Gertrude: - Officer, officer, I aw the speedometer, he was driving 53 exactly.
Cop: - I appreciate your honesty, ok 53 it is then. Also sir, are you aware that your tail light is out?
Arthur: - Oh really, I had no clue, thank you for telling me officer I'll have that fixed right away.
Gertrude: - Officer, officer, that light has been out for a month, I've been bugging him to fix it every single day.
Arthur turns to his wife and screams: - SHUT UP YOU @#$%&@ IDIOT!
Cop: - Mam, does he always talk that way to you?
- Only when he's drunk.
Why are you walking in the middle of the road Arthur?
- I'm scared of the wild flowers on the sides Delbert.
Arthur talks to a guy in a bar
- Hey you look familiar, didn’t I bump into you in Idaho once?
Maybe, but probably not because I've never been there.
Come to think of it I've never been to Idaho either, must have been two other people. But wait, have you ever been to Wyoming?
- No I haven't.
- Well then you might know my brother, he's never been to Wyoming either.
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