Essex Junction, Vermont Lies


These are some lies we made up about Essex Junction.

An extraterrestrial from outer space is regularly perceived seeking an object in Champlain Valley Exposition at night.

The ghost of a gentleman dressed as a gardener has been said to have been seen on one or two occasions looking at the scenery at Colchester Pond Dam before sunrise. Folks assert that this ghost likes scaring people who come seeking ghosts in Essex Junction.

A lady with a semi see-through body may often be distinguished slurping water on the shore of Colchester Pond.

Thumbelina can be noticed very frequently beneath a giant tree in Essex Junction Village Forest smoking a pipe.

The ghost of a gentleman in a police outfit is once in a while seen marching in the middle of a wild highway next to Essex Junction. In any case, it unquestionably is a creepy phantom that you shouldn't go seeking.

The ghost of a security guard with a bullet hole in his forehead may sometimes be perceived at Abbey Brook after midnight flinging stones
 
    into the flow.

A huge lion has repeatedly been observed resting in a beanbag in a house in the neighborhood of Essex Junction.

The martian commander of a flying saucer has supposedly been made out on several instances on the pinnacle of Bald Hill at night staring at the vista.

The ghost of an elderly guy with a large white mustache
  may often be seen looking in Winooski Gorge in the early morning hours.

The phantom of a guy wearing an army uniform can be perceived very often at night staring across Munson Flat.

An extremely large lamb is sometimes seen before dawn hurrying after a passing Chrysler on a shadowy road near Essex Junction.

A woman with a machete sticking out of her head is rumored to have been seen on a few occasions drinking water from Winooski Falls around midnight.

An alien from planet Saturn may sometimes be observed in the backseat of a Nissan by the driver catching a sight of the phantom in his rear view mirror after midnight.

The ghost of a female with a sack fastened around her head was witnessed pulling up weeds in the garden of a trailer in Essex Junction. When witnessed the ghost came up to the witness who then ran off. One of the people who live here steadfastly argues that this phantom might be a distinguished yesteryear resident of Essex Junction.

The Mothman showed up resting in a chair in a house
in Essex Junction.

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Ghost Sightings From Essex Junction


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Other untruthful towns near Essex Junction, Vermont:

Williston, Vermont, 4 miles away

Winooski, Vermont, 7 miles away

Milton, Vermont, 7 miles away

South Burlington, Vermont, 8 miles away

Westford, Vermont, 9 miles away

Colchester, Vermont, 9 miles away

Burlington, Vermont, 10 miles away

Hinesburg, Vermont, 10 miles away

Jericho, Vermont, 10 miles away

Richmond, Vermont, 10 miles away

      


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Ghost Sightings From Essex Junction



Arthur called the airline:
- Hello, if I take the 10:23 flight from JFK to LAX how long will it take to get there?
- One moment sir.
- Wow! That fast! Thanks, said Arthur and hung up.
A car had crashed into a tree and Arthur and Delbert were found drunk at the scene, they were arrested at the crash site by the police. Later in court the judge asked:
- Which one of you two were driving the car?
-Your honor, we were both in the back seat singing.
Arthur: -Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Because he had no guts.
Honey, Gertrude, I'm home . . . Oh my god, what's this mess?
- Oh Arthur honey, yesterday you asked me what exactly I do at home all day and today I didn’t do those things.
Arthur: -Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -No body.
Arthur! what is that awful smell? It stinks to high heaven, did you poop your pants or something?
- Don’t be silly Delbert, I'm 35 years old, of course I didn’t soil my pants!
- No Arthur, it's coming from your pants, you must have pooped your pants! Let me check your pants man!
- I certainly did not soil my pants, but if you must check then go ahead.
-Alright Arthur, I'll check your pants...(checking pants)....- #$%@&#% this is disgusting, your pants are full of poop, you did poop your pants man!
Yes Delbert, but that was yesterday.
Arthur was an experiencd pilot and had been warned that the runway they were landing on was very short so he was being extra careful. When the plane approached the runway it seemed even shorter than he had imagined. But he was a good pilot and he knew he could do this. He went down extra slow and touched the ground right at the edge of the runway. He applied maximum brakes, things were flying around in the cabin and the passengers were screaming in panic. But Arthur got the plane to stop an inch from the other edge of the runway. He turned to his co-pilot Delbert and said:
- That was the shortest runway I have ever seen in my whole life.
- Yeah, said Delbert, and look how wide it is.
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