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Ghost Sightings From Portugal
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Ghost Sightings From Portugal
Delbert, I'm so glad that fish I caught yesterday got away.
- Glad?
- Yeah Delbert, there wasn't enough space for the both of us in the boat.
So Arthur, you have any recommendations from previous employer?
- Yes sir, he recommended that I go find a new job.
Arthur: -How can you keep from getting a sharp pain in your eye when you drink chocolate milk?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: - Take the spoon out of the glass.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? ?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.
Arthur was waiting for his turn in the psychologists waiting room.
- Next! Said the psychologist loudly from his office as a patient walked out his door.
Arthur went into the psychologists office and said:
- Nobody ever notices me, it's like I'm not even there. It all started in my childhood when....
- NEXT!, said the psychologist again.
Arthur was applying for a job at the railroad.
- Ok, here's the scenario, said the interviewer, Two trains are travelling at 75 miles per hour towards each other on the same track, what do you do?
- I'd go and get my friend Delbert.
- Your friend? Why would you do that?
- He's never seen a train wreck before.
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on the beds next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, ''What are you in here for?'' The second kid says, ''I'm in here to get my tonsils out.'' The first kid says, ''You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!'' The second kid then asks, ''What are you here for?''
The first kid says, ''A circumcision.'' And the second kid says, ''Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!''
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