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Ghost Sightings From Paraguay
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Ghost Sightings From Paraguay
How do you confuse an idiot?
- Don't know?
- Four. . . . Are you confused?.
A fish walks into a bar.
The bartender says: -Sorry, we don't serve fish in here.
Arthur gets pulled over for speeding.
Cop: - License and registration please. You were driving 50 in a 35 sir.
Arthur: - No officer, I'm pretty sure I was only driving maybe 40.
Arthur's wife Gertrude: - Officer, officer, I aw the speedometer, he was driving 53 exactly.
Cop: - I appreciate your honesty, ok 53 it is then. Also sir, are you aware that your tail light is out?
Arthur: - Oh really, I had no clue, thank you for telling me officer I'll have that fixed right away.
Gertrude: - Officer, officer, that light has been out for a month, I've been bugging him to fix it every single day.
Arthur turns to his wife and screams: - SHUT UP YOU @#$%&@ IDIOT!
Cop: - Mam, does he always talk that way to you?
- Only when he's drunk.
Four is my lucky number. When I was four I found a 4 pound gold nugget in the back yard. I won 4 million dollars on the lottery on April 4th 2004. Last week when I turned 44 I went out to the horse race track and put every penny I own on horse number 4 in the 4th race.
- Wow Arthur! Did you win?
- No Delbert, he came in 4th I'm afraid.
Delbert, I'm so glad that fish I caught yesterday got away.
- Glad?
- Yeah Delbert, there wasn't enough space for the both of us in the boat.
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked Arthur who was a witness. ''Isn't it true?'' he bellowed, ''that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case.'' Arthur stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. The prosecutor again shouted, ''Isn't it true that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case?'' Arthur still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, ''Sir, please answer the question.'' ''Oh, I thought he was talking to you'', Arthur said.
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