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Shirley, Massachusetts Lies | |
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These are some lies we made up about Shirley.
Johann Sebastian Bach can be noticed very often sipping diesel from a pump at a gas station in Shirley.
A massive cat has occasionally been spotted reasoning up on Benjamin Hill.
A very large platypus is now and then observed shifting orbs around on the water's edge of Bow Brook Reservoir.
An extraterrestrial from planet Jupiter is known to have been observed on a few instances talking into the air as if somebody besides was present.
Hansel and Gretel's mom may every so often be observed flinging pebbles into the stream at Bancroft Brook before dawn.
A woman having the head of a goblin was witnessed in Ayer State Game Area in the early morning hours before sunrise pulling a corpse over rocks. The ghost did not mind that there was somebody other there.
An alien from another solar system emerged at midnight creeping out of Flurcum Swamp covered in dirty water.
A massive cow was perceived walking a Saint Bernard late at
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night on a gloomy Shirley residential street.
A giant prairie dog became visible by The Ox Bow mounding stones.
A space man was perceived in J Harry Rich State Forest before sunrise climbing a towering tree.
An alien voyager from space was witnessed at Harvard Town Beach taking a night-time swim.
An extremely large aardvark has repeatedly been distinguished peeking through residence windows in Shirley before sunrise.
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Ghost Sightings From Shirley
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Lunenburg, Massachusetts, 6 miles away
West Townsend, Massachusetts, 7 miles away
Bolton, Massachusetts, 8 miles away
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Ghost Sightings From Shirley
The town reverend had called together a special town meeting to expose the wickedness of the local casino.
- Who's the richest man in this town? Well let me tell you, it's the casino owner. Who's got the nicest car? the casino owner. Who's got the biggest house? Again the casino owner! And who's paying for all of this? You people are, by spending your hard earned cash in his casino! You people must all stop gambling at the casino or else you will just get poorer and poorer.
The speech made a great impression on Arthur, the local bookstore owner. The next day he met the reverend in front of his book store.
- Reverend, I want to thank you for opening my eyes and letting me see the true nature of gambling and how it robs good people of their livelyhood.
- Well I'm very glad to hear that, I take it you have given up gambling then?
- Hell no, said Arthur, I'm converting my bookstore into a casino.
Hey Delbert, I've got an idea that'll make us rich, we're gonna forge ten dollar bills?
How are we going to do that Arthur?
- You take a hundred dollar bill and put whiteout over the second zero, see you can't tell the difference.
Don't worry son, said Arthur to his son. When I was your age I had a weak mind as well. But don't worry, it'll disappear completely as you get older.
As Arthur was trying to pack for vacation, his 3-year-old Arthur Jr. was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, he said, ''Daddy, look at my fingers'' Trying to keep him happy and entertained, He reached out and stuck his fingers in his mouth and said, ''Daddy's eating your fingers!'' He was pretending to eat them. Then he had to rush out of the room again. When he returned, Junior was standing on the bed staring at his fingers with a devastated look on the face. I said, ''What's wrong?'' ''Daddy Daddy, where's my booger?''.
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