France Lies

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Ghost Sightings From France



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Ghost Sightings From France



A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender:
- Got bread?
- No.
- Got bread?
- No Mr. Duck, we don't have any bread.
- Oh, Ok then. Doy ou have any bread?
- I already told you you stupid duck, we don’t have any bread now if you ask me one more time I'll grab you by the neck and nail your beak to the counter!
- Got nails?
- No.
- Got bread?.
The two birds had been boyfriend girlfriend for a long time and things had been going well, but today the girl bird was inconsolable.
- I already told you honey, I did not get married to someone else, I was abducted by a gang of ornithologists and they put this ring on me.
Arthur had a new job as a life guard on the beach and his boss came to check up on him since it was his first day on the job.
- So how are things going so far Arthur?
- Oh, it's great, people are so friendly here, they keep waving to me from the water.
Hey Arthur, long time no see. Wow I see you've opened a fruit stand, that's great. What are those ones?
- Yeah those are Fuji Apples Delbert.
- Let me have 8 of those, and I need them individually wrapped. And what about those Arthur?
- Ah those are Grapefruits Delbert.
- Oh Ok, let me have 6 of those individually wrapped. And what about those?
- Yeah those are blueberries Delbert, but they're not for sale.
Delbert, Douglas, and Gertrude wanted to join a special forces combat unit and had to prove they could follow any order without hesitation. Delbert was told to go first.
- We have your wife tied up behind this door, said the instructor, I want you to take this gun and go in and kill her.
- Yes sir! Said Delbert and went in.
A little bit later he came out in tears.
I can't do it, I can't do it, he wept.
- You're a disgrace, yelled the instructor, pack up and go home right now, you're out!
Douglas came next. The same thing happened to him too and he got sent home.
Now it was Gertrude's turn.
- You know what to do! Yelled the instructor, your husband Arthur is in there, go in and kill him with this gun.
- Yes Sir! She said and went in.
After a few minutes she came out covered in blood.
- What happened in there?, asked the instructor.
- The gun wasn't loaded so I had to beat him to death with the gun sir!.
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