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Ghost Sightings From Czech
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Ghost Sightings From Czech
Gertrude was making breakfast for Arthur and the kids in the morning when Arthur rushes into the kitchen acting hysterically.
MORE EGGS!! MORE EGGS!! You need to use more eggs. MORE BUTTER TOO!! And MORE SALT!! NO NOT THAT MUCH!! NO NOT THERE OVER THERE!! Why don't you listen to me when you're cooking?? I said MORE EGGS!! no that's too many AAAHHH! TURN THEM OVER NOW!! HURRY! I SAID NOW!! More salt there, no not there I said THERE!! AAAAHH!! YOU'RE RUINING BREAKFAST!!
- Calm down Arthur, what's gotten into you?
- Oh nothing dear, I just wanted you to know how I feel when I'm driving.
Time flies. But you can't, they're too fast.
A sailor and a pirate are talking in a bar.
- Wow, said the sailor, you really have it all. Wooden leg, hand hook, eye patch. How did you loose your leg?
- Har, I fell overboard in a battle and a shark bit off my leg.
- Whoo, sounds painful, how about your hand how did you lose that?
- Har, har. It was cut off by an enemies sword during battle.
- Wow, and how about your eye, how did you lose your eye?
- Har, that happened when a mosquito flew into my eye, har.
- A mosquito in the eye, how could you lose an eye from that?
- Har Har, it was my first day with the hook, har.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? ?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.
When the small town built a new bridge they installed a traffic counter to monitor traffic flow. The counter was getting close to the million mark, so they thought it would be a good idea to greet the millionth car an give him a prize. The counter read 999,999 and the sheriff and the mayor was standing by for the next car and here it came.
- Congratulations sir, you are the 1,000,000 th car to cross this bridge, you win $1,000.
- Wow a thousand bucks, yippie, I'm gonna go to driving school with that money and get myself one of them drivers licenses said Arthur.
- Don't listen to him, said his wife Gertrude in the passenger seat, he's drunk.
- I told you we wouldn't get far in a stolen car, said Delbert from the backseat.
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